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+--- Thread: How to tell you are in South Florida (/showthread.php?tid=8391)
How to tell you are in South Florida - Surf314 - 08-29-2008
You are going 10 MPH over the speed limit and a car passes you fast enough to make your car sway, then a bike passes them.
The local coffee is dangerously close to being a scheduled narcotic.
You see lots of pink things with lots of feathers showing some leg, also flamingos.
You see signs that say "english spoken here"
(unfortunately true) A cop pulls you over and confiscates your marijuana and tells you "this is between us"
A guy in rollerblades and spandex is the least gay person at the outdoor mall (you're in luck scotty!)
People keep confusing you for some guy named "Guero"
Every 10th car is pimped out no matter what the make or model
You no longer feel guilty about using the word JAP (Jewish American Princess) in a derogatory manner
You discover one of the worlds greatest trivia games called "is it a man?" (My friend came up with it, yes we actually played it and are probably terrible people)
You see an albino man with an albino snake wrapped around his neck and notice that you are the only person staring, or that even seems to think its a bit strange (and awesome!)
Everything you eat seems to be filled with dulce de leche (I just ate something filled with dulce de leche)
Scattered showers takes on new meaning as you can quickly walk into and out of a torrential downpour without turning around
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Vongore - 08-29-2008
When i went to Orlando last year i lol'd at every "Welcome to America, now speak english" sticker and sign.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Surf314 - 08-29-2008
(08-29-2008, 10:47 PM)Vongore link Wrote: When i went to Orlando last year i lol'd at every "Welcome to America, now speak english" sticker and sign.
I like the extreme diversity down here TBH, lots of good food and good people. But at the same time it's hard not to find it funny how much it feels like you are visiting several different countries that are not the US.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Vongore - 08-29-2008
My family had a great time, because almost none of them speaks spanish. We went to a Wall-Mart and on the entrance was a big
"Bienvenido", and below that, on small, "Welcome". I felt bad, so i decided i would speak english for the rest of the trip
.btw, Disney and Islands of Adventure are awesome
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Surf314 - 08-29-2008
(08-29-2008, 10:57 PM)Vongore link Wrote: Disney and Islands of Adventure are awesome
;D My mom lives in Orlando, also Orlando = in the closet hick town believe it or not. They just keep them away from the tourist areas.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - exanimo - 08-29-2008
(08-29-2008, 10:41 PM)Surf314 link Wrote: You see signs that say "english spoken here"
Wow...
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Vongore - 08-29-2008
Meh, i'm a tourist scum
. But i can understand that poor people, i would hate if a bunch of inmigrants/tourist came and almost changed my language.... wait, no, i would love it.... LET'S ERASE SPANISH FROM EARTH!
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Surf314 - 08-29-2008
(08-29-2008, 11:02 PM)exanimo link Wrote: [quote author=Surf314 link=topic=1295.msg34986#msg34986 date=1220067661]
You see signs that say "english spoken here"
Wow...
[/quote]
That was one of the sarcastic ones, actually I think its the only one that I may have made up (although Im sure somewhere there is a sign like this)
Also Vongore hicks here are different than what you are thinking I think. It's what we call "southern" people but usually a derogatory term applied to a specific group that are pretty close minded and act absolutely retarded and hate just about anything different. Also they are gullible as anything. And they hate science and learning as tools of the devil. You wouldn't believe some of the ridiculous political arguments we get into. The latest huge political debate is on which bathroom transexuals should be allowed to go into. Also my dad was on the library board and had to fight a large number of books being banned. And of course Florida is also where the story about the substitute teacher getting fired for practicing wizardry came from.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Surf314 - 08-29-2008
As far as the coffee if you go to a real cuban restaurant down here and order a cafe con leche they bring you a cup of warm milk and a small metal pitcher of coffee. If you order a cuban coffee its the reverse. And a further hint is that the cafe con leche is not for people that don't like coffee or cant handle caffeine. CaffeinePowered would absolutely love it.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Neonie - 08-29-2008
(08-29-2008, 11:03 PM)Vongore link Wrote: LET'S ERASE SPANISH FROM EARTH!
+1 <3
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Vongore - 08-29-2008
hahaha, you Really ask for Cafe con Leche on coffeterias? I drink one of those every morning, by squishing Coffee beans.
Oh god, it's amazing how things i do on a daily basis are something special for you
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Eschatos - 08-30-2008
(08-29-2008, 10:59 PM)Surf314 link Wrote: [quote author=Vongore link=topic=1295.msg34995#msg34995 date=1220068635]
Disney and Islands of Adventure are awesome
;D My mom lives in Orlando, also Orlando = in the closet hick town believe it or not. They just keep them away from the tourist areas.
[/quote]
I has to live a little ways north of Orlando. My county isn't that bad(Seminole). I think a few years ago we got on some list of top ten places to live in the USA. The main reason I hate it here is the heat and rain and mosquitos.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Dave - 08-30-2008
old people, 30%piss 40% lavendar 30% orange juice.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - dapngwnman - 08-30-2008
(08-30-2008, 09:41 AM)Eschatos link Wrote: [quote author=Surf314 link=topic=1295.msg34996#msg34996 date=1220068742]
[quote author=Vongore link=topic=1295.msg34995#msg34995 date=1220068635]
Disney and Islands of Adventure are awesome
;D My mom lives in Orlando, also Orlando = in the closet hick town believe it or not. They just keep them away from the tourist areas.
[/quote]
I has to live a little ways north of Orlando. My county isn't that bad(Seminole). I think a few years ago we got on some list of top ten places to live in the USA. The main reason I hate it here is the heat and rain and mosquitos.
[/quote]
Screw Seminole county, ROCK THE DUVAL! Wife Beaters are our dress code.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Surf314 - 08-30-2008
(08-29-2008, 11:58 PM)Vongore link Wrote: hahaha, you Really ask for Cafe con Leche on coffeterias? I drink one of those every morning, by squishing Coffee beans.
Oh god, it's amazing how things i do on a daily basis are something special for you
Yea thats part of the reason my wifes family seem to love me so much, how much joy I seem to get out of the things they do all the time. I swear everytime I come down here they pump me full of empanadas, then offer to send like 20 more home with me. Also I like mate.
Re: How to tell you are in South Florida - Vongore - 08-31-2008
(08-30-2008, 10:30 AM)Surf314 link Wrote: [quote author=Vongore link=topic=1295.msg35013#msg35013 date=1220072289]
hahaha, you Really ask for Cafe con Leche on coffeterias? I drink one of those every morning, by squishing Coffee beans.
Oh god, it's amazing how things i do on a daily basis are something special for you
Yea thats part of the reason my wifes family seem to love me so much, how much joy I seem to get out of the things they do all the time. I swear everytime I come down here they pump me full of empanadas, then offer to send like 20 more home with me. Also I like mate.
[/quote]
Next time, ask them a Piscola~