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The Best James Bond Film - Scary Womanizing Pig Mask - 12-02-2008

The ultimate question, pick you're three favorite Bond Films to determine the champion(s).

A quick refresher based on my shoddy memory, as aided by the intro paragraphs on Wikipedia:

1. Dr. No: Sean Connery goes to Jamaica and fights a doctor with robot hands. Also features a Dragon shaped tank with a flamethrower.
   
2. From Russia With Love: Sean is going to help a Russian spy defect. Features a badass Soviet assassin who strangles people with a cord hidden in his watch.
 
3. Goldfinger: A chubby rich guy is trying to radioactive Fort Knox's gold, so that his own is worth more. Features hat-throwing Oddjob and starts the tradition of ludicriosuly named Bond girls with Pussy Galore.
   
4. Thunderball: SPECTRE is going to launch a missile at an undisclosed major city if the UN doesn't pay up. The villain looks like a Hispanic Big Boss, and has an awesome scene in a shark infested pool.

5. You Only Live Twice: There's a big spaceship that swallows up other ones. Yanks blame the Ruskies and visa-versa. Bond disguises himself as a Japanese fisherman by squinting his eyes (no joke) and infiltrates a fake volcano to fight Blofeld. I believe a pool of piranhas comes into play at one point.
 
6. On Her Majesty's Secret Service: Blofeld has an army of Stepford Wives, which is some how a threat. Bond marries the girl in Fyre's avatar, and then Blofeld kills her for kicks. Also, Bond is played by a random British model.
   
7. Diamonds Are Forever: Bond goes after Blofeld who's building a giant satellite laser with diamonds. Features a mildly offense set of stereotypical gay assassins.

8. Live and Let Die: Roger Moore's first film. Some racist portyals of black people are smuggling heroin and Bond has to sort it out. Also features voodoo.

9. The Man with the Golden Gun: A guy with three nipples and Tattoo from Fantasy Island threaten to use the sun to do something bad. Bond ends up dueling him in a fun house like building.
 
10. The Spy Who Loved Me: A crazy rich guy wants to destroy the world and create a new civilization underwater. Unlike Andrew Ryan though, he has a henchman with metal teeth.
 
11. Moonraker: And if you thought the last plot was crazy, wait till we show you this one! Same basic story (including the metal teeth) except replace ocean with outerspace.

12. For Your Eyes Only: A Greek Guy has a missile command system and Bond wants it back. The Greek Guy also killed the Bond Girl's parent's which pisses her off slightly.
 
13. Octopussy: A Soviet General is stealing stuff, and secretly plotting to force Europe to disarm. Feature Roger Moore dressed up rather fittingly as a clown.
 
14. A View to a Kill: Goldfinger with Fort Knox replaced with Silicon Valley, and gold replaced with computer chips. Seriously, it's almost the exact same film, only bad instead of good.
 
15. The Living Daylights: Bond (Timothy Dalton) has to rescue a Soviet defector while the head of the KGB is having Western spies in a serial killer esque fashion.
 
16. Licence to Kill: A Drug Lord has Bond's CIA friend fed to sharks, which sends him on an MI6 approved ramapage. Also featured is a pet iguana.
 
17. GoldenEye: First to star Pierce Brosnan. An old MI6 colleague has a Goldeneye satellite that he's using to terrorize London. Also the first to feature Judy Dench.
 
18. Tomorrow Never Dies: A media mogul is creating scandalous news stories, which pit China and the US against each other, using his army of mercenaries and a submarine with a drill attached to the front.
 
19. The World is Not Enough: Bond's protecting the daughter of an assassinated King. While his assailant plots to blow up some Nukes in Istanbul to drive up oil prices.
 
20. Die Another Day: A North Korean General is planning on using a satellite (villains seem to love these) to restart the Korean war. Also, Bond's car can turn invisible in this one :Smile
 
21. Casino Royale: A french guy wants to some various dastardly deeds, like steal lots of money from other nations or castrate Bond (Daniel Craig.) Bond's girlfriend turns out to have betrayed him and then dies, but then it turns out she didn't betray him, but then she sort of did, and everything gets angsty.
 
22. Quantum of Solace: Some guy wants to steal Bolivia's water, and sell it back to them at two times the price. Bond is still angsty over the death of his girlfriend.

X. Never Say Never Again: Thunderball unofficially remanded, starting Sean Connery.

Bonus Question: Least favorite and why.

My favorites: Thunderball: very fun film with some great underwater scenes. Plus eyepatches are bad ass, and so is feeding you're enemies to sharks.
The Spy Who Loved Me: Perfect balance between light hearted comedy and srz bznes. That it actually makes metal teeth as a weapon plausible is a feat into of itself.
Goldeneye: Like the last three, fun but not ridiculous. Some great action scenes, and Russians always make for good villains.

Least Favorite: Quantum of Solace: Stealing water from Bolivia? Come on!


Re: The Best James Bond Film - CaffeinePowered - 12-02-2008

Goldfinger, pure classic bond and best henchmen

Least Favorite - anything with Pierce that isn't goldeneye


Re: The Best James Bond Film - copulatingduck - 12-02-2008

(12-02-2008, 08:06 PM)CaffeinePowered link Wrote: Goldfinger, pure classic bond and best henchmen

Least Favorite - anything with Pierce that isn't goldeneye

Goldeneye was a pretty shitty movie. Also, Dalton was worse.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - Scary Womanizing Pig Mask - 12-02-2008

(12-02-2008, 08:20 PM)CopulatingDuck link Wrote: [quote author=CaffeinePowered link=topic=1893.msg52686#msg52686 date=1228266401]
Goldfinger, pure classic bond and best henchmen

Least Favorite - anything with Pierce that isn't goldeneye

Goldeneye was a pretty shitty movie. Also, Dalton was worse.
[/quote]

I liked Dalton. I wouldn't want his super serious approach to be in all of them, but it made for a nice change of pace.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - rumsfald - 12-02-2008

live and let die for blaxsploitation AND mc cartney AND voodoo

octopussy cause my grandpop worked on that ship

a view to a kill for grace jones and duran duran

least favoUrite: dalton.




Re: The Best James Bond Film - KarthXLR - 12-02-2008

Quantom of Solace shouldn't even be on there.

I will never qualify it as a bond film. Maybe as a Bourne film, with a hint of Indiana Jones, but nowhere near the success of an original bond film.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - Scary Womanizing Pig Mask - 12-02-2008

(12-02-2008, 08:26 PM)Ye Scurvy Karth link Wrote: Quantom of Solace shouldn't even be on there.

I will never qualify it as a bond film. Maybe as a Bourne film, with a hint of Indiana Jones, but nowhere near the success of an original bond film.

I'll agree with you that it's an awful attempt to make Bond like Bourne, it still is technically a Bond Film, just a really bad one. If any should be removed it's Never Say Never Again Wink


Re: The Best James Bond Film - fyre - 12-02-2008

I'm not gonna vote, cuz I've only seen Casino Royale and From Russia With Love. They were cool though. I need to watch some more.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - Vongore - 12-02-2008

Also, stealing water from Bolivia... FILMED ON CHILE WIH FUCKING BOLIVIAN "ACTORS"


Re: The Best James Bond Film - ZargonX - 12-02-2008

You Only Live Twice is awesome in so many ways, including but not limited to the classic Volcano base invasion scene.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - Wedge - 12-03-2008

You Only Live Twice for what Zargon said.  You forgot to mention he battled NINJAS in a volcano.  Also they built a genuine portable airplane for that movie if I recall.

Man With the Golden Gun because Scaramanga was an awesome bad guy and it was lulz how Bond beat him.

And Goldeneye coz' Sean Bean as 006 is the best Bond villain EVER.  Also Boris.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - Greatbacon - 12-03-2008

(12-03-2008, 12:05 AM)Wedge link Wrote:   Also Boris.
[quote author=Boris]
I am INVINCIBLE!!!



Re: The Best James Bond Film - Luca Shoal - 12-03-2008

(12-02-2008, 08:25 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: live and let die for blaxsploitation AND mc cartney AND voodoo
And Bond in Harlem, tho that falls under Blaxploitation.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - A. Crow - 12-03-2008

(12-02-2008, 08:26 PM)Ye Scurvy Karth link Wrote: I will never qualify it as a bond film. Maybe as a Bourne film, with a hint of Indiana Jones, but nowhere near the success of an original bond film.

Funny, my brother said pretty much this exact same thing to me like 5 minutes ago...

also,
Casino Royal
Diamonds are Forever- probably because i've seen it too many times.
Goldfinger- I mean, Pussy Galore...


Re: The Best James Bond Film - x - 12-03-2008

(12-02-2008, 08:25 PM)rumsfald link Wrote: live and let die for blaxsploitation AND mc cartney AND voodoo

I went to a party as the half-black voodoo priest a couple of years ago. Was my friend's little sister's eighteenth with a James Bond theme but barely anyone bothered to dress up, no-one had seen Live And Let Die and the black kid in the corner kept giving me funny looks.

Goldfinger's undoubtedly the best Bond but I've got a soft spot for The Living Daylights.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - Eschatos - 12-03-2008

Goldeneye and Goldfinger

Least Favorite: Casino Royale.  Too damn UnBondy for my liking.


Re: The Best James Bond Film - Benito Mussolini - 12-03-2008

(12-03-2008, 03:14 PM)Eschatos link Wrote: Goldeneye and Goldfinger

Least Favorite: Casino Royale.  Too damn UnBondy for my liking.

Bond is still a noob in that movie... of course it's not "Bondy"


Re: The Best James Bond Film - MrGrey - 12-03-2008

i was the only one who voted for never say never again?  they play the fucking global domination game in that!! awesomeness


Re: The Best James Bond Film - MrGrey - 12-03-2008

my other 2 were goldeneye and casino royale


Re: The Best James Bond Film - Wedge - 12-03-2008

(12-03-2008, 07:49 PM)MrGrey link Wrote: i was the only one who voted for never say never again?  they play the fucking global domination game in that!! awesomeness
OMG I remember that.  Was fucking awesome.