New/Improved Longest Thread

[wangmauler]

I'm bored. Just waiting till 6pm when I can go down to my band room and jam out without the businesses upstairs yelling at us.

[copulatingduck]

good story

[Surf314]

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-...ympics.php

NSFW obviously

[at0m]

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-...ympics.php

NSFW obviously

aren't you at work lol

[Surf314]

[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=2632.msg138533#msg138533 date=1267197848]
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-...ympics.php

NSFW obviously

aren't you at work lol
[/quote]
.....maybe

There isn't any nakedness on that page just descriptions of things and suggestive bikini pictures.

[at0m]

[quote author=at0m link=topic=2632.msg138535#msg138535 date=1267198306]
[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=2632.msg138533#msg138533 date=1267197848]
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-...ympics.php

NSFW obviously

aren't you at work lol
[/quote]
.....maybe

There isn't any nakedness on that page just descriptions of things and suggestive bikini pictures.
[/quote]Its japanese porn, even if there was nakedness there isn't nakedness. \o/ for censorship, it has produced some of the most fucked up shit imaginable.

[SAVAGE-0]

good story

i dont get it

[copulatingduck]

This isn't a story I heard but a story that happened to me shortly after I completed my degree.
The Rocket Incident - During the fall of 2008 I was a young engineer working my first job designing a security system to protect this military rocket. It was a pretty sweet gig some of the perks included:
Awesome Uniform (Red shirt, overalls, cool wielding glasses)
Fully Stocked Supply Cabinet (Literally no matter how much I would remove from it, it remained fully stocked)
They even supplied me with a lovely set of tools including a really nice custom wrench
So anyways I design a really top of the line security system. It was a motion sensor combined with a really sweet weapons platform. I mean this platform included twin gatling guns and a mini-rocket launcher and to top it off I built this really neat combination parts/ammo/medical facility right next to it. I placed this system so it covered every possible entrance to the military rocket. The only possible way that this system would fail is if some sort of invincible explosive expert blew it up. Fat chance of that.
So everything is going good. The system is installed and it works like a dream. I mean the first day its up this cracked out teen dressed in all blue comes at me with a baseball bat. This guy had to be on meth or something he could like double jump in the air and his legs would just bend at all these crazy angles. He is coming at me babbling some gibberish about a teleporter and as soon as he comes in range my system just blows him away. I mean it was gross but I think it saved my life and a couple whacks with my wrench and the system is back at full capacity.
The system is great and all my team is very happy with me until one day when I'm coming back from lunch I get this warning message sent to my blackberry warning me that someone is hacking into my system. I'm kind of freaking out but the company I'm working for has a pretty good security force so I call into the office and you wouldn't believe my luck. The only person on duty is this grumpy fat girl. I mean I don't want to sound sexist but only one girl works here and she is a pain in my neck. You can never understand her because she is always wearing this stupid gas mask I mean those things are suppose to be for emergency only. I'm trying to tell her that my system is being sapped but I just can't understand her response. I think she is saying something about me being over there and I should just check it myself. I tell her I'm no where near the system and there are no other engineers working today. But in her typical fashion she just ignores me and goes back to talking to this fat dumb fat Russian guard she has a crush on. All she has to do is go check my system for spies. I mean I looked at the tapes of the incident that guy looked nothing like me. So anyways long story short my system goes down and another drugged out guy in blue sabotages the rocket. The rocket blows up destroying the entire compound and I the smart young engineer gets the blame.

[beep beep diglett]

about as subtle as a hammer to the face, no offense

[Surf314]

I got really pissed off at some pub for doing douchy things like killing himself before I can decapitate him as a demo. Turns out this guy was on my friends list. Turns out this guy is Spore. Sorry for raging at you Spore.

D:

[zaneyard]

I got really pissed off at some pub for doing douchy things like killing himself before I can decapitate him as a demo. Turns out this guy was on my friends list. Turns out this guy is Spore. Sorry for raging at you Spore.

D:

lol raped

[Turtle]

I'm watching a 19 hour thing on Fuse about eminem

Some of his songs are pretty despressing

[copulatingduck]

I'm watching a 19 hour thing on Fuse about eminem

Some of his songs are pretty despressing

actually everything but the singles are depressing (and even then, a couple of those are too)

[Ianki]

I was near tears as always.

[Surf314]

My wife is a childrens' librarian for a public library and this is the story she told me:

This guy comes into the childrens' section and asks for the books on dragons. I show them the books and he looks at me and he says "look I know this is going to sound crazy but do you see these?" He pulls out some photos of animal tracks. "I've compared these to every animal track I could find and they don't match, that means these have to be dragon footprints. You don't have any books that have dragon footprints?" "No, have you tried the adult section?" "Yes and they don't have any books on dragons at all!"

He was dead serious.

Also going home the next day I passed a car with "Dragon Wagon" all over the sides and the back. Could there be a team of dragon hunters in Ocala?

[A. Crow]

or, you've suddenly stumbled into a really crappy ARG. 

[Wyrmidon]

My wife is a childrens' librarian for a public library and this is the story she told me:

This guy comes into the childrens' section and asks for the books on dragons. I show them the books and he looks at me and he says "look I know this is going to sound crazy but do you see these?" He pulls out some photos of animal tracks. "I've compared these to every animal track I could find and they don't match, that means these have to be dragon footprints. You don't have any books that have dragon footprints?" "No, have you tried the adult section?" "Yes and they don't have any books on dragons at all!"

He was dead serious.

Also going home the next day I passed a car with "Dragon Wagon" all over the sides and the back. Could there be a team of dragon hunters in Ocala?

that is odd. Though there are some scientific teams searching for dragons, saying that it is completely possible they could have existed.

At first I read animal tracks as animal crackers, had me lolling for a bit.

[A. Crow]

[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=2632.msg139105#msg139105 date=1267545812]
My wife is a childrens' librarian for a public library and this is the story she told me:

This guy comes into the childrens' section and asks for the books on dragons. I show them the books and he looks at me and he says "look I know this is going to sound crazy but do you see these?" He pulls out some photos of animal tracks. "I've compared these to every animal track I could find and they don't match, that means these have to be dragon footprints. You don't have any books that have dragon footprints?" "No, have you tried the adult section?" "Yes and they don't have any books on dragons at all!"

He was dead serious.

Also going home the next day I passed a car with "Dragon Wagon" all over the sides and the back. Could there be a team of dragon hunters in Ocala?

that is odd. Though there are some scientific teams searching for dragons, saying that it is completely possible they could have existed.

At first I read animal tracks as animal crackers, had me lolling for a bit.


[/quote]

BUT THEY COULD HAVE HAD AIR SACS THAT GAVE THEM NEGATIVE BUOYANCY IN THE AIR!!!!

[A. Crow]

My girlfriend has commented about my BOQ reminding her of a cave, and I've joked about growing stalactites before.  Fuck it, why not?

[Luinbariel]

I like the big one in the back.