Archive of the stupid stuff my co-worker says

[HeK]

Since I unfortunately go to a private Christian school,

Been there done that. They didn't like me so much.
The small scale, non-religious private high school based out of the local University on the other hand....

We soaked hot wheels cars in kerosene and ran them aflame on a set of tracks... there was a loop... and a pool.
And eventually math.

[Neonie]

One week religious bible camp. I wouldn't unspike my hair for them, and I wouldn't try and wrestle other kids to pull them toward our "group". (We stood in a circle and the objective was to pull other campers toward our group to gain points). I had one pair of good jeans left and I wasn't about to ruin them for some stupid little game. Got into a fight with higher ups twice becuase I'm not going to fucking do shit I don't want to do.

Ya I believe in God, I really don't give a fuck what you have to say about your evolution. But at the same time I fucking HATE churches, they can fuck off, and their all corrupt money hungry pieces of shit. Don't fucking tell me I'm stupid for believing in God, becuase I'm not fucking telling you what you should believe.

[KarthXLR]

But at the same time I fucking HATE churches, they can fuck off, and their all corrupt money hungry pieces of shit. Don't fucking tell me I'm stupid for believing in God, becuase I'm not fucking telling you what you should believe.

That's a strong statement there for going to one or two churches.

[A. Crow]

If we're going to get onto the topic of stupid thing said by religious people:  I once had a independent baptist youth minister tell me I was going to hell for listening to 'rock music.'  This was the week after he told my girlfriend and I (it was her freaking psychochurch) that God didn't want us to hold hands until we were 18 because it was wrong.  So, I talked her into leaving that church, talked her out of going to the small private religious college they had set her up to attend.  Then had loud, rock star like sex with her every chance I got for the next year, and talked her into going to The Citadel.  EDIT: I guess I should explain a bit more, the Youth Minister showed up at both our houses on many different occasions because he was greatly concerned I was corrupting her.  It got kinda personal.

Methodists have all the fun.

[quote author=Neonie link=topic=1331.msg36887#msg36887 date=1220765809]
But at the same time I fucking HATE churches, they can fuck off, and their all corrupt money hungry pieces of shit. Don't fucking tell me I'm stupid for believing in God, becuase I'm not fucking telling you what you should believe.

That's a strong statement there for going to one or two churches.
[/quote]
I typed the above up before I saw this.  The problem is fanatics.  They can ruin anything.  Small independent churches: mostly fanatical.  Go to a nice moderate United Methodist church, you meet level headed people with reasonable expectations of you, society and religion. 

[KarthXLR]

If we're going to get onto the topic of stupid thing said by religious people:  I once had a independent baptist youth minister tell me I was going to hell for listening to 'rock music.'  This was the week after he told my girlfriend and I (it was her freaking psychochurch) that God didn't want us to hold hands until we were 18 because it was wrong.  So, I talked her into leaving that church, talked her out of going to the small private religious college they had set her up to attend.  Then had loud, rock star like sex with her every chance I got for the next year, and talked her into going to The Citadel.  EDIT: I guess I should explain a bit more, the Youth Minister showed up at both our houses on many different occasions because he was greatly concerned I was corrupting her.  It got kinda personal.

Methodists have all the fun.

[quote author=That darn Karth link=topic=1331.msg36891#msg36891 date=1220769072]
[quote author=Neonie link=topic=1331.msg36887#msg36887 date=1220765809]
But at the same time I fucking HATE churches, they can fuck off, and their all corrupt money hungry pieces of shit. Don't fucking tell me I'm stupid for believing in God, becuase I'm not fucking telling you what you should believe.

That's a strong statement there for going to one or two churches.
[/quote]
I typed the above up before I saw this.  The problem is fanatics.  They can ruin anything.  Small independent churches: mostly fanatical.  Go to a nice moderate United Methodist church, you meet level headed people with reasonable expectations of you, society and religion. 
[/quote]
First off, I know, extremists suck. They give religion a bad image. I know, because I have a girl at school who's like that, and probably lost two or three members(NOT MONEY MEMBERSHIP, IT'S FREE NEONIE) at a church.

Second off, you have to remember that with each religion, there are a number of branches with it each with there own beliefs and/or practices. Just wikipedia it.

[zaneyard]

[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=1331.msg36146#msg36146 date=1220536008]
Co-worker: That pisses me off why do scientists always got to be screwing with shit to learn things, why can't they just accept there are things you won't know.  God did it case closed.

Amen. Praise the Lord.
[/quote]
lawl

[Dave]

Wendy Swollen Balls says:
dave. science question
Wendy Swollen Balls says:
why, out of 3 shits, did only one log float?
Wendy Swollen Balls says:
thats a question for brainiac.

[Neonie]

[quote author=Neonie link=topic=1331.msg36887#msg36887 date=1220765809]
But at the same time I fucking HATE churches, they can fuck off, and their all corrupt money hungry pieces of shit. Don't fucking tell me I'm stupid for believing in God, becuase I'm not fucking telling you what you should believe.

That's a strong statement there for going to one or two churches.
[/quote]

I've been to many, many, MANY threw out my life.

[KarthXLR]

[quote author=That darn Karth link=topic=1331.msg36891#msg36891 date=1220769072]
[quote author=Neonie link=topic=1331.msg36887#msg36887 date=1220765809]
But at the same time I fucking HATE churches, they can fuck off, and their all corrupt money hungry pieces of shit. Don't fucking tell me I'm stupid for believing in God, becuase I'm not fucking telling you what you should believe.

That's a strong statement there for going to one or two churches.
[/quote]

I've been to many, many, MANY threw out my life.
[/quote]
Different religions?
Different beliefs?

I'm sorry to say, but that sounds like bullcrap to me.

[Vandamguy]

way to fuck up a good thread with religion guys.

can we get back to OP? (original post)


customer to me: "Do I need internet to make my wireless mouse work?"

[Surf314]

way to fuck up a good thread with religion guys.

can we get back to OP? (original post)


customer to me: "Do I need internet to make my wireless mouse work?"

+1 Also I decree that the only religion that shall enter this thread is if it is something extremely dumb and funny said by someone that has some religion in it.  Make it so.

[Fail Medic]

User of one of my group's applications calls me.

User:  "Could you help me with this form?  I can't see the menus or anything!"

Me (after opening the same form on my screen):  "Hmm, that's odd, I see everything.  What is it you're not seeing?"

User:  "I don't see any of the stuff at the top that I usually see."

Me: "Well, when do you go on break next?  I'll come down and take a look."

User:  "Oh my God, never mind."

Me:  "What, you found them?"

User:  "I had to scroll up!"

[HeK]

When I was working helpdesk for the revenue agency, I had someone call in with password problems.
I reset their password and they could still not log in.

I asked if they had their caps lock on. They didn't know how to tell.
I informed them that there should be three indicators on the top right of their keyboard. Everyone has the same HP keyboards.

I said there should be a 'number 1', 'letter A', and an 'arrow'.

The guy told me that the 'number 1' was illuminated, but couldn't see a letter. However there was a light on the 'tipi' indicator.
"Tipi?" I asked. He described it as a bottomless triangle, with a horizontal line across the centre.

/facepalm.

[Surf314]

This isn't funny, actually it kinda pissed me off.  But arguing this wouldn't get me anywhere.

Her:  "I don't know if I'm voting for McCain but I could never vote for Obama."

Me:  "Why?"

Her:  "Because he's a .... black man"

Coworker:  "You wouldn't vote for a minority but you'd screw one?"

Her"  "That's different, and besides it was only a couple."

[Surf314]

Today:

"I think Obama is going to win and then Hillary will be our Vice President."

[Tragic Hero]

This isn't funny, actually it kinda pissed me off.  But arguing this wouldn't get me anywhere.

Her:  "I don't know if I'm voting for McCain but I could never vote for Obama."

Me:   "Why?"

Her:  "Because he's a .... black man"

Coworker:  "You wouldn't vote for a minority but you'd screw one?"

Her"  "That's different, and besides it was only a couple."

Thats kind of funny but not in a "ha-ha" way but "Man you are one ignorant bitch" funny.

[Surf314]

I have a great one, someone sent my coworker a stupid test and it started this conversation with me.

Coworker:  Who fought in the spanish civil war?
Me:  It's called the spanish civil war!
Coworker:  So who fought it?
Me:  It's called the spanish civil war!
Coworker:  (looks at screen) So the spanish fought it but with who?
Me:  It's called a civil war!
Coworker:  So who germany?
Me:  No its a civil war, like the united states had one they fought themselves remember?
Coworker:  Yes ok so they fought.....themselves?
Me:  Yes spanish v. spanish
Coworker:  Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh OK thanks!

[Dave]

[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=1331.msg39523#msg39523 date=1221696590]
This isn't funny, actually it kinda pissed me off.  But arguing this wouldn't get me anywhere.

Her:  "I don't know if I'm voting for McCain but I could never vote for Obama."

Me:  "Why?"

Her:  "Because he's a .... black man"

Coworker:  "You wouldn't vote for a minority but you'd screw one?"

Her"  "That's different, and besides it was only a couple."

Thats kind of funny but not in a "ha-ha" way but "Man you are one ignorant bitch" funny.


[/quote]



yould vote for a president and not screw one?

[cannedpeahes]

[quote author=Tragic Hero link=topic=1331.msg42038#msg42038 date=1222807280]
[quote author=Surf314 link=topic=1331.msg39523#msg39523 date=1221696590]
This isn't funny, actually it kinda pissed me off.  But arguing this wouldn't get me anywhere.

Her:  "I don't know if I'm voting for McCain but I could never vote for Obama."

Me:   "Why?"

Her:  "Because he's a .... black man"

Coworker:  "You wouldn't vote for a minority but you'd screw one?"

Her"  "That's different, and besides it was only a couple."

Thats kind of funny but not in a "ha-ha" way but "Man you are one ignorant bitch" funny.


[/quote]



yould vote for a president and not screw one?
[/quote]

Barack Obama = John Kennedy II.

[Blues]

Telemarketing job, not really stupid, but hilarious nonetheless. Was a call center where people called in for info about products/to order them.

Customer: Hey this is Chris.
Me: (begin spiel) Hello my name is Chris and...
Customer: Chris? This is Chris? FUCK YOU CHRIS FUCK YOU
Me: *quiet because laughing*
Customer: Okay thank you!

Other than the fuck you Chris part he sounded completely normal, I was laughing in between talking for like 2 or 3 more calls.