Best L4D2 survivor dialog from The Passing DLC

[Live-Free-Or-Pie]

SPOILERS

Each L4D2 survivor has around 450 new lines (!!). My faves are in bold. Valve, you have outdone yourselves!!

ROCHELLE (holy crap, character development and funny lines!)

[@Francis] “Maybe, but at least he's no Zombie”
[@Francis] “Ok, Yes, then we're all Vampires”
“Why did I ever leave Cleveland?”
“Wow, even the convenience stores in the South have guns”
“They even have guns at weddings”
“Look, it's funny that she's wearing a dress, but she will kill you”
“I don't know what she's crying about, but at least she got married”
“Hey Ellis, Look!, it's another angel”
“Don't mind being the brides-made this time”
“Something old, something new, something about to rip your guts out”
“If that's the bride, let's hope we don't run into the groom”
“Honeymoon's over!”
“That's a waste of a nice dress”
“Even the elevators are slow in the South”
(“Nick you have a turd on your shoulder” w/ variations)
[in the sewage] “Hey Nick, splash fight?”
[laughing] “Ellis, ha ha, I'm not laughing”
“That was almost as bad as the Seattle underground tour”
“Nick, compared to you, he's nice”
“Coach, we make it to New Orleans, there's a cheeseburger museum!”
“Hey Ellis, I hear there's a stock car museum in New Orleans”
“Hey Nick, there's a...”
“Ellis, honey, I've been thinking... Somewhere down the road do you think we can trade up for a car with... let's say working windows, doors, and a back seat?”
“Ellis, ask yourself, what would Keith do?”
[Fonzie style] “AYYYY”
(Conversation from the trailer!)
“I hate these stairs”
“I hate this bridge”
“I hate your vest!”
“Thanks, nice vest”
“Thanks! Sexy guy in the vest”
“Nick, you need to find a woman who hates herself, and she'll love you!”
“Nick, being one of the last two women in the world alive, I can safely say that at least half of the women in this world hate you”

NICK (lots of swearing and bad-assery)

[Ellis accent] “Look, we an just go under the river, dunnit sound fun Ellis?”
“OK tell me something, how is an under-the-river tour scenic?”
[@ Francis] “That guy's not a cop” (variations)
“I'm telling you for the last goddamn time! Lower the goddamn bridge you greasy vest wearing wearing monkey!”
“Or, I could try being more attractive to greaseball bikers”
[@ Francis] “That's terrific, cupcake”
(variations on Francis as greasy/monkey)
“Hold on, I'm going to go back and shoot that jackass”
(variations: tattooed disaster/vest wearing jackass)
“I hate going to weddings”
“Coach, there's no time for cake”
“I'll look out for some”
“It's not easy getting blood out of a wedding dress, don't ask me how I know that...”
“Look Ellis, all women are emotional wrecks who will eventually kill you, OK”
“Wedding dress... crying... this brings back some bad memories”
“Ellis, maybe you should grab that dress for your new girlfriend”
“Ellis, you should give the bride a kiss for good luck”
[Ellis accent] “Ellis, look! Another angel!”
“Here comes the bride!”
[after killing witch] “That has been a fantasy of mine for a long time!”
“Honeymoon's over, bitch!”
“Now that's a shotgun wedding!”
“I hate you Ellis!”
“From one conman to another, five bucks for this?” (tour, variations)
“well played Rayford”
“You're right Coach you're so right, history is coming alive!”
“God damn you Jimmy Gibbs Junior”
**[at self] “Hey Nick, what's new? Oh not much, I couldn't drive Jimmy Gibbs' stock car over a bridge so I'm crawling through a shit filled sewer so I can lower it, you?”
“I am breathing shit air into my lungs, it's being absorbed into my bloodstream, I am literally full of shit”
“Here's a pleasant thought, if anyone of us gets submerged, we're going to get fully submerged in shit water”
“Seriously now, I'll pay you 1000 bucks if you give me a piggy back ride”
“Coach, a germ just wiped out the entire planet so yes”
“If anyone sees any hand sanitizer, let me know”
“Look, there are probably 10 guys left on the planet Rochelle, and you're not getting younger”
“Ellis, did you get that girl's name, because I can tattoo it on your ass, she'll like that” (variations)
“Rochell, do you want me to tattoo your boyfriend's name on your arm, I'll just write 'greasy pig,' we'll all know who you're talking about” (variations)
“Louis, you sure you don't want to come with us, we can leave Ellis behind”
[re: dead guy] “Sorry for your loss”
[sincere sappy]“I can't believe I'm sayin this, but I think I need these guys” (awww, character development)
“You wanna make this a... seven-some?”

COACH (mostly informational... nothing much special)

[@ Francis] “Shit, Yes! OK! We are all vampires!”
“Anyone see the weddin' cake?” (variations)
“Shh... anyone see the weddin' cake?”
“Damn, but no cake!”
“Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo”
“Bride's chasin' me man! Ugly bride's chasin' me”
“Now that's a shotgun weddin”
“Nick, if I give you a piggyback ride, will you shut up about the sewer?”
“Tour's over, Shiiiit...”
“City of Rayford, they used to have a boiled peanut festival here!”
“Man... I keep hoping we find an open Burger Tank”
[Midnight riders singing] “A suitcase full a pistol and mo-ney!”
(Lines suggest Coach has secret tattoos?)
“Louis in da-house!”
“Get busy livin, or get busy dying” (community line)

ELLIS (more of Ellis being Ellis, nothing wrong with that, lotta good stuff)

(All Keith stories in another post)
“That one was for you Jimmy Gibbs Junior”
“Ho man, that was the prettiest girl I've ever seen”
“Man-oh-man, I jumped Jimmy Gibbs's car through a plate glass window and I just met the prettiest girl I've ever seen”
“Look at her... she is an ANGEL”
(lots of Zoey pining)
[@ Francis] “Oh man! I know man, that's what I've been sayin. If there are zombies, there's got to be vampires, wolfmen, mummies, aliens, all that shit man, it just makes sense!”
“Can you all watch this car while we're gone?” (variation)
“Hey Coach, can coaches marry people?”
“This weddin' here, I'm taking this as a sing”
“As far as weddings go, that was the most exciting”
“Oh man, you think she's cryin because she got left at the alter?”
“Oh man I changed my mind! I do not wanna get married”
“Runaway bride! Runaway bride”
“Help here... here comes the briiiide!”
“Nick, you got a turd on your shoulder” (many variations)
“Oh man I found a candy bar! Whoop... false alarm...”
“CANNONBALL!”
“I hope phase 2 has rides”
“We're getting close, I can feel her!... I mean the car, of course” (variations)
“Just a car? Just a car?! That's like sayin the Mona Lisa is just a sculpture or shit, man, that's like sayin that Jimmy Gibbs is just a driver, that's like sayin the girl on the bridge is just a little purdy... she is an AN-GEL”
(Lots of lines about Ellis missing the car)
“Hell...  biker fella is an awesome dude, but we ain't tradin him for Nick”
“Yo maybe if we find a nice open stretch, we slow down a little bit, you can jog right along side, like in that boxing movie!”
[Fonzie style] “AAAY, it seems the jukebox works”
“Man I love tattoos, I only have one, but I was gonna get my truck tattooed on my other arm”
(variations, “but maybe not I'll get Jimmy Gibbs stock car on the other”)
“Man, I'm gonna kill so many zombies, she's gonna hafta love me”
“I'm gonna kill a tank in her honor, Oh! Then I'm gonna name it after her!”
[@ car] “ I'm comin! I'm soo sorry I [southern sob stutter] le-heft-heft-heft yooou!”
“Man, I told you you had a turd on your suit”
“ I know... wait wut?”
“Oh man my heart is torn... but I gotta go with the car” (variations, Jimmy Gibbs Junior)
“Ro, how did you end up drivin?”
“Tell me Zoey don't look good with that gun” (variations)
“Zoey, Zoey, Zoey, man I love sayin that” (variations, all day long)
“Oh sure... Rochelle and the biker dude sittin in a tree, K_I_S_S_I_N_G”
“Maybe the four of us can double date”
“Man I don't know, what do you think, with the hat or without it?”
”Yeah it was like love at first sight, the outher 4 seconds were gravy”
”Ro, its the zombie apocalypse, first datin' days are over. Nick, by the way, I'm gonna hafta borrow your suit because we are skippin' right to the marriage brother, then we're going cross country. Just her... me... and the Jimmy Gibbs Junior”
“Dude! This is just like Team Fortress 2” (community line)

Community note: It seems Valve made lines for community maps

Every character has snow related lines
Every character has movie theatre-related lines
Every character has Train station lines
Every Character has military base lines
Few have alien related lines
Most have “Push the cart!” (omg payload!)
Some of Ellis stores are for community maps