The Boasting Platform

[Eightball]

We all have our moments of glory. In the face of harsh opposition, any player can be transformed into an unstoppable killing machine. Here is the place to brag about your exploits. Embellishing is encouraged. Tell a story that others can either aspire to match, or gain entertainment from as they laugh at how small your penis is.

Here's a story from a few weeks back, attacking in dustbowl:

The teams are sort of stacked. All of the regulars that aren't me are on Red, whilst I am stuck on Blu with a bunch of pubbies. Things are going kind of badly. It took us quite some time to capture the first point, and the second point seemed to be impossible to capture. I call for someone to switch over, but everyone is reluctant to. I'm feeling exasperated when I hear the "bloop" of a skype message. It's my girlfriend, asking me to do something on a website for her. At this point, I don't give a fuck about the game; we're going to lose on the first stage of dustbowl. I alt-tab out for a couple of minutes. After alt-tabbing back in, I see there are 45 seconds left in the match. I record (and unfortunately stop) a demo to fix any visual bugs caused by the alt-tab, and then walk to the upper cavern. From the top, I can see that our team is being pushed all the way back to the lower tunnel and complex. I spring into action. I run down the staircase, leap across the doorway where a sentry detects me but does not shoot me. The team doesn't notice. I step on the point an immediately begin planting bombs on the ramp. As the announcer declares the point in danger, the entire team bursts into chatter on the in-game VOIP. They all turn around, only a few feet from me, and charge onto the point. Three are shredded apart by the bomb trap. Three more follow close behind, but they stand too close together and share in the grenades I send them. One, two, three. The point is captured, and the opposing team starts calling me an asshole and complaining about how demomen are overpowered.

In a hopelessly one-sided battle, I alt-tabbed out for a few minutes to come back and singlehandedly win a match against a complacent team. "All jorge"


Now let's hear your moments of glory.

[HeK]

Now let's hear your moments of glory.

I head-shot Liquid once.... with the Ambassador..... from behind...

[Kirby]

One time I lit like 7 people on fire and axe'd them all questions without dying.

[CaffeinePowered]

Ok, so old planetside story


Back in the day, you actually had massive raids and no broadcast gates. We're down to our last base on Cyssor, and facing a red alert outnumbered  60% - 40%. The base in question is Girru, its a tech plant in the far south east part of the continent. Tech plants have their control computers on the roof, in order to take control of a base you hack its computer and wait 15 minutes for the base to change sides.

Vanu at the time were horribly underpowered and the New Conglomerate rapes face indoors with their shotguns. We had just finished kicking the third empire off one of our continents and had a surplus of troops to send somewhere, well fuck, we have 13 minutes to get our asses to Cyssor or get booted off the continent. And hopefully the people inside the base dont end up caving and losing the base before we get there.

This was also a time when players who were CR5 with broadcast ability were few and far between, a call goes out to get back to sanc, quickly assemble a raid, and get to Cyssor. We filled four galaxies in something like 5 minutes, and took off complete with aircraft escort to rescue Girru.

For those that don't know, a galaxy is a large transport aircraft that can hold  12 people (Pilot, 3 gunners, 6 grunts, 2 MAXes), and one light vehicle. I think a few of the gals had a lightning in them as well...so, since there are no broadcast warpgates (that let you skip long flights), we have to fly through old oshur, cross continent, to get to cyssor.

We get into continent, well fuck only like 4 minutes left, we only get one chance at this. We dropped all four galaxies, 40+ people on the roof, I have no idea why we didn't get OS'd, probably because you could count the number of CR5s online at any given time on one hand, where as now you'll have 20+ per empire online.

Some CR3s and higher lit off EMPs keeping any aircraft from death spamming us, and despite their superior weapons, we clogged their guns with our corpses and re-secured. I died just inside the doorway, but I know we re-secured with <5sec left on the timer.

There was another I was apart of on my NC character where our raid was large enough to poplock a continent as we moved through it, which was something like 300 - 350 people under the old limits (And also while we had a poplock going on another continent at the same time). But that's a story for another time.

[[fr31ns]Karrde]

We were defending Dustbowl 2-2.  I was medic.  We were holding our own just fine until a large push came.  I was the only one who survived.  Mostly Pyros, demos, and soldiers I think.  I said something along the lines of "You don't wanna fuck with Karrde the Medic!" at which point I mowed every last attacker down with the Blut

[If-I-Die-Its-Lag]

League of Legends

Played as Akali and went 38/9/17. Lost, but the enemy team pretty much said that I'm the team and damn scary.

Also, played against a pretty powerful Morde with Eschatos, Trace, Whendilin, and Doug Norm. He couldn't carry the team enough sadly.

[PyroZombie]

I reflect-rocket-juggled a soldier with a direct hit.

apparently, the direct hit will give you the same boost for airshotting someone no matter who its fired at.

[Didzo]

[Chief]

sniping battles with liquid

missmissmissmiss
then one of us hits each other
then i type "bawdy shawt"

[sk8mystery23]

When I taunt killed that engineer while our team was in humiliation. He totally didn't see him coming. I think a few people on here may remember it, as it was only a few days ago.

Felt good man.

[KarthXLR]

On Mach4, I was playing as an engineer in the underground tunnel. I started to go outside through the tunnel, but I ran into a demoman and a soldier being healed by a medic. I killed all three of them in just 3 wrench hits total.

[EarthlingJohn]

I was about to taunt kill liquid...

And he noticed on the last poke of the spy taunt, so he suicided, giving me a kill anyway
mmyes

[[SiN] Merc]

I joined a random server right as my team swapped to red on badwater. I hit random class, and it stuck me as demoknight. After debating, I decide to stick with it, and play some Hendrix in the background. What follows is this:



Eight Dominations in one life, they capture the second point only because I wanted to single handily farm them more. I honestly don't see my team after Blu capped second point, I guess Red was at third or something.
Not pictured: The two people who got swapped to autobalance, and the four ragequits afterward. Was good day to be giant man. Well, aside from the hurtful language anyway. 

[Eightball]

Feeder teammates? No problem!

EDIT: Maybe this thread should be moved to Big Boys or something.

[If-I-Die-Its-Lag]

I owned an entire army of Swadians with my elite Sarranid troops.

[Spore]

I made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.

[HeK]

I drove 20 miles in less then 15 miles.

[Turtle]

sniping battles with liquid

missmissmissmiss
then one of us hits each other
then i type "bawdy shawt"

mine are usually swing my cursor recklessly near his face until i hit somebody/something and then hide

[Kirby]

A 'zerker and myself as commando took out 154 zombies on wyre after the rest of our really bad team got slaughtered by a fleshpound on wave 10.

Highlights included the 2FP 2SC rush, and a triple Husk sniper assault supported by the most ungodly wave of sirens and gorefasts I ever dun saw.

I had a total of 5 rounds left in my 9mm, and that was the sum of all our ammo @ the end of the wave.

[Eschatos]

A 'zerker and myself as commando took out 154 zombies on wyre after the rest of our really bad team got slaughtered by a fleshpound on wave 10.

Highlights included the 2FP 2SC rush, and a triple Husk sniper assault supported by the most ungodly wave of sirens and gorefasts I ever dun saw.

I had a total of 5 rounds left in my 9mm, and that was the sum of all our ammo @ the end of the wave.

Wat