Peaches: I Has Them

[cannedpeahes]

Hi. I'm Peaches. I'm 18 years old (fun fact?) and I'm active on Destructoid, not so active on here. I'm was born in Hamilton and lived in Burlington, Ontario for about five or six years, and then moved to a dinky backwoods town in North Carolina that's just beginning to develop. Seriously, the people here power their refrigerators with their mullets.

I've been playing since the days of the SNES: it was platformers like Donkey Kong Country and such back then. Then I got my N64, and played Goldeneye, and so on. It's been a sample platter of gaming history for me: I wasn't really hardcore about it until I was about 13 and played the original Call of Duty. I made my first hardware purchase - an nVidia GeForce 5200FX - to keep up with that game. Built my first computer in 2006, and have been upgrading it since.

In my spare time, I write - none of the wrist-slittey stuff, just poetry and the occasional short story - and play video games and hang out with people and very little else. I'm en route to graduate from high school in about fifteen days (at time of writing), and enroll at Western Carolina University come August, on a Teaching Fellows Scholarship which pays for all my stuff (though I do have to serve in the public schools for four years afterwards). I'm going to major in Secondary Education, minor in English.

My name came from absolutely nothing, in case you were wondering. I picked a title and then the most off-the-wall thing I could imagine. But I can eat an entire can in three seconds, and I've done it in places like canoes and caves because it's a very convenient camping food. I play Call of Duty 4, TF2, Company of Heroes, Medieval 2, Garry's Mod, CSS. I play Heavy, almost always. Unless I'm a spy. And if I'm not a spy, I'm a Heavy. And if I'm a Heavy... I'll go toe to toe with Caff, most of the time. Looking forward to seeing you on the server, and goodonya, mates.

[ScottyGrayskull]

Hi Peaches. Awesome to hear about graduating. I suppose that means we'll all see you around more over the summer.

And +1 for the mullet comment.

[Surf314]

Epic intro.  I've learned so much about you.

[Vandamguy]

yeah nice and to the point. no wall of yomanz.
good sig too peaches

[Versus]

CoH = <3

Hai peaches.

[fyre]

Hi there. Mullet-powered refrigators FTW.

[Yomanz]

Nice intro peaches. Congrats on graduating as well. 
@Vandam: Sorry again about the wall. Never was good in english.

[Tragic Hero]

*sigh* Another teen in our midsts.  Makes me feel terribly old. 

Welcome aboard sir...

[exanimo]

PEACHES COME IN A CAN THEY WERE PUT THERE BY A MAN IN A FACTORY DOWNTOWN!
(Sorry).

Poetry = wrist slitty. .. Joking.
What type of short stories?

[cannedpeahes]

Anywhere from slice-of-life to memoirs to speculative fiction. I keep a repository of everything I've written here, if anybody's interested.

[Surf314]

Anywhere from slice-of-life to memoirs to speculative fiction. I keep a repository of everything I've written here, if anybody's interested.

I write, sort of.  Honestly I just come up with great story ideas and keep them in my head.

But if I could create a narrative it would be an amalgam of every storytelling medium I like, it'd be totally meta.

[TheToiletDuck]

Write me a poem about a snail that almost gets squished by a kid who then changes his mind. Then the snail all disgruntled by life decides to become carnivorous and eats every living thing until it is the size of a house and then is about to kill the kid and the kid is all like "whoa, i should have killed you when i had the chance" .

You can call it "Trail of destruction"

Or "Mollusc-ill kill kill"

[cannedpeahes]

Snail of Destruction

In the vast, verdant growth of the city suburbs
There lived a poor, ignorant snail
Who spent his long hours in the heat and the sun
His shell, to him, felt like a jail

In his prison, one day, in the damp homey space
Created by pebbles and moss
The mollusk resolved to venture away, the road
And it's pavement to cross

While crawling, and struggling, across the black tarmac
The snail encountered a foot
Which clamoured and thudded it's way 'cross the road
In indifferent and steel-toed boots

Young Toby had just been let out of his classes
And sulked his way back home from school
He stopped, in the road, and examined the shell
And exclaimed, to himself, "This is COOOOOL!"

He picked up the snail, which twisted and writhed
In it's molluscy, calcified shell
He prodded it, hoping it soon would come out
And, dejected, he muttered "Oh, well."

He put down the snail, and pondered and thought,
"Should I SMASH it, or let it go free?"
He made up his mind, and put down the shell
"The snail'd do the same for me."

This snail, renewed, took advantage of life,
And he ate, and devoured, and such
He swelled to the size of a gas-guzzling car
And, fleshwise, he guzzled as much

The villain embarked on a destructive rampage
He smashed, and he gobbled, and broke
And rolled through the town on a foot like a tank-tread
Until a voice from beneath him spoke

"You've come to my home, and destroyed for no reason,
I've come to put this to an end.
Gratuitous violence is no snail's niche,
So here I will stand and defend."

It was the boy who had spared the shellhugger's life
The snail remembered his face,
The foot hov'ring over him, cold and demure,
Was an image he could not erase

The snail bowed down and waggled his eyes
Then he turned, and beat a retreat
If there's a lesson in here (I'm surprised if there is):
Be kind to all creatures you meet.

I can write about anything, really. I like getting prompts, though; it's much easier than coming up with my own ideas.

[Wedge]

I think the lesson is to kill snails before they grow into giant rampaging mutants.

[TheToiletDuck]

Fantastic.

I thought of this story on the way back from the gym the other night and am soo happy to see it come to fruition.
I could never have done it justice like this.

[exanimo]

Muthafuckin' LOOOOOVE!

[Tragic Hero]

Muthafuckin' LOOOOOVE!

[Versus]

[quote author=exanimo link=topic=362.msg40886#msg40886 date=1222218197]
Muthafuckin' LOOOOOVE!

[/quote]

[Ianki]

Exanimo's intro post got locked so now he's bumping everyone's old posts.

Dick.

<3 Peaches tho.

[exanimo]

No wei. I read on Rummy's that Peaches wanted love. So .. I'm giving him love.