Van damn you!

[Vandamguy]

Pretext: I'm only writing this in order to get enough +karma to pass rumsfald again. I'm petty and my life has little purpose. Please help and geiv + nao.

Introducing Vandamguy.

To do this properly you need to start at the beginning, of time.

In the begining there was a man, and a woman. How woman got pragnant? No one knows. Born January 21st 1983, post-maturely i stayed in an extra week because i luv the pussy. . .. my moms .. nevermind.

My parents used to work the night shift, so staing quiet in the morning was important. Im not going to say that's the reason why we got a Nintendo Entertainment System. But it worked. Spent the formative years of my childhood growing up with classics like Zelda, megaman 3, captain skyhawk. mario brohters of course. one of my favourite memories was playing duck hunt with the gun pressed right up against the screen. Yeah, I'm a cheater
Move up to SNES. Kor(Mike) and I selling off our NES games in order to get money for new SNES games from toys'r'us. Mario paint, zelda again, castlevania 4. I thought so highly of Castlevania 4 that I asked mike once why they didnt pack that game in with the SNES instead of Super mario brothers world. I was young and nieve, and didnt understand first party / third party 
There was a small time when i played the Genesis, Mortal kombat , because I wanted the good sub-zero fatality, aladdin, sketchin'.
Moving up to N64 years got one for christmas the year it was released. Mario 64, Killer instinct. We tried finding a second controller for the N64 a couple days after we got it, so Mike and I could fight it out. but there was none! we had to wait like 2 weeks to find one.
My dad was always the PC gamer for the longest time, playing ultima on his Atari ST, spyhunter on the C64, ect. It was around the n64 time that he decided he wanted to upgrade his computer.
Got a pimped out machine. Celeron 333mhz , 128 megs of ram, 4 gig HDD. 4 megabyte onboard video card. Now i cant remember what games came first on this machine, there were a few. Doom, simlife (currently being remade under the name Spore) , sim city , golf32,
Ah. Now i remember. My cousin gave me a couple burned games for my birthday some years ago, Starcraft, and Age of empires. PLayed starcraft, beat it. it sucked. Played Age of empires online, and absoltely fell in love with it. I loved the feeling of crushing someone elses city they spent all that time building. I'm a bad guy. I played under the name "Scaryguy666_98" and mastered the game, literaly. Till i met up with "Caroll_shelby" I was a teenager and wanted to get my freak on, so I thought I would teach her how to play AOE like a pro. One problem though, Caroll_shelby was a guy, a guy that liked the dodge viper so much he stole the cars designers name and used it to play AOE. I got him to rename himself to something more appropriate and at the time we were both in a clan called "Legion of Krieg" so "LOK_Scaryguy" and "LOK_Viper" had good times from when school was out, till 11 when i needed to sleep. playing AOE 6 hours a day for about 9 months straight. i had that shit on lock down. Viper was always talking about other games though. Like Delta Force, he described it with such vigor that i had to try it. Viper had gone so far as to suggest that I download it. He showed me warez, in its infatile and mIRCy glory with !triggers in the fserv. We played Delta force, I kept on with the warez downloading playing , deleting, download , play , delete. I had that 4 gig's filled to the tits. even so far as to needing to delete rar files after they have been extracted , while the extractor was still going , because i didnt have enough room for the extraction.
those were the warez years.

I was talking to a friend at school about the online portion of age of empires 2 and how cool it was. He trumped my cool by telling me about this game where you could play as a spy and stab people in the back and kill them in one shot. I was hooked. I went over to his house and he showed me this game. He told me I should play HWGUY because that's good for newbs. I picked HWGUY, we were playing Well, i was in the concrete bunker in the middle. my gun was spinning, i looked out the window and pointed my death cannon at the opposing faction. I ... I ..
I died. Gibbed, fuckign ahnihilated with a ring in my ears. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" "you got Headshotted" "oh fuck!. cool!"
I respawned.

I respawned for 3 years.

Moved on from TFC when bunnyhopping became popular. Counter-strike, other HL1 mods, everquest (for a really small amount of time), Ultima online, rainbow six, Anarchy online for two years, world of warcraft, so many games.

Come around to TF2 now.

Van Dam Guy

[Geoff]

I still don't understand the handle.

[CaffeinePowered]

I still don't understand the handle.

A play on Jean Claude Van Damn?

[Negate]

<3 vandam

[Neonie]

                                              8)

[Surf314]

Holy shit he finally wrote an intro.  Also you are 2 months older than me :o

[Vandamguy]

I still don't understand the handle.

i was going to explain it after Van Dam Guy, but it just looked like such a good end. that i didnt fill it in.

My uncle would always talk some nonsene when he came ove rto visit , and made plays on our names. I'm Adam, that's mike. we used to call him Mike the kike, and i would be Dam boy , or Dam guy. my Uncle also liked Van Damme. so he started calling me Van dam guy.

[Eschatos]

What terrible event turned you into the sick twisted person you are today?

[copulatingduck]

What terrible event turned you into the sick twisted person you are today?

I bet it also involved his uncle.

[CaffeinePowered]

My uncle would always talk some nonsene when he came ove rto visit , and made plays on our names. I'm Adam, that's mike. we used to call him Mike the kike, and i would be Dam boy , or Dam guy. my Uncle also liked Van Damme. so he started calling me Van dam guy.

I wish I had an uncle that called me racial slurs while I was growing up 

[fyre]

You should go back to using Scaryguy666_98. At least no one wonders what it means.

[Vandamguy]

What terrible event turned you into the sick twisted person you are today?

not sure what you mean by that.
from my perspective im a normal guy.

non sarcastic answer.
if you meant i am a pervert, well,  my dad's a big pervert and i absorbed a lot of his mannerisms when it comes to sex.
if you meant me taking pleasure in the grief and angish i inflict on others, my shrink might tell you it has something to do with my parents getting divorced , or being the middle child and not knowing which one was right when they were telling me different stories and saying its the truth. FUCK YOU WORLD 

[Surf314]

[quote author=Eschatos link=topic=545.msg13386#msg13386 date=1213725003]
What terrible event turned you into the sick twisted person you are today?

not sure what you mean by that.
from my perspective im a normal guy.

non sarcastic answer.
if you meant i am a pervert, well,  my dad's a big pervert and i absorbed a lot of his mannerisms when it comes to sex.
if you meant me taking pleasure in the grief and angish i inflict on others, my shrink might tell you it has something to do with my parents getting divorced , or being the middle child and not knowing which one was right when they were telling me different stories and saying its the truth. FUCK YOU WORLD 
[/quote]

You're a middle child :o, does the third continue the epicness?  When you unite will the world crumble at your feet?  Kor molests the ears, and you molest the eyes so the third must either have an interesting smell or....taste?

Holy shit this is like the fifth cylon, I must know!

[Vandamguy]

[quote author=Vandamguy link=topic=545.msg13381#msg13381 date=1213723247]

My uncle would always talk some nonsene when he came ove rto visit , and made plays on our names. I'm Adam, that's mike. we used to call him Mike the kike, and i would be Dam boy , or Dam guy. my Uncle also liked Van Damme. so he started calling me Van dam guy.

I wish I had an uncle that called me racial slurs while I was growing up 
[/quote]

my dad and uncle are the best at racial slurs , my uncle does it for lulz , my dad does it out of spite.
I secretly hate everyone that's not Caucasian, Canadian, and atheist. But i dont let it affect my judgement in day to day things.
That said though, i do believe in racial profiling.

[Vandamguy]

[quote author=Vandamguy link=topic=545.msg13414#msg13414 date=1213728583]
[quote author=Eschatos link=topic=545.msg13386#msg13386 date=1213725003]
What terrible event turned you into the sick twisted person you are today?

not sure what you mean by that.
from my perspective im a normal guy.

non sarcastic answer.
if you meant i am a pervert, well,  my dad's a big pervert and i absorbed a lot of his mannerisms when it comes to sex.
if you meant me taking pleasure in the grief and angish i inflict on others, my shrink might tell you it has something to do with my parents getting divorced , or being the middle child and not knowing which one was right when they were telling me different stories and saying its the truth. FUCK YOU WORLD 
[/quote]

You're a middle child :o, does the third continue the epicness?  When you unite will the world crumble at your feet?  Kor molests the ears, and you molest the eyes so the third must either have an interesting smell or....taste?

Holy shit this is like the fifth cylon, I must know!
[/quote]

ROFL at this man  +2 when i can give you another.

[exanimo]

TLDR -1.

[Vandamguy]

TLDR -1.

thanks!

[rumsfald]

Pretext: I'm only writing this in order to get enough +karma to pass rumsfald again. I'm petty and my life has little purpose. Please help and geiv + nao.

Wow, I haven't seen a hooker with an honest heart since Pretty Woman.

Kor (Mike) and I selling off our NES games in order to get money for new SNES games from toys'r'us.

Mike Hunt?

Also, wall of text did not explain how long you have been, and intend to continue, leeching off of your brother, sleeping on his couch, and eating his pigs feet.

[Geoff]

[quote author=CaffeinePowered link=topic=545.msg13399#msg13399 date=1213726405]
[quote author=Vandamguy link=topic=545.msg13381#msg13381 date=1213723247]

My uncle would always talk some nonsene when he came ove rto visit , and made plays on our names. I'm Adam, that's mike. we used to call him Mike the kike, and i would be Dam boy , or Dam guy. my Uncle also liked Van Damme. so he started calling me Van dam guy.

I wish I had an uncle that called me racial slurs while I was growing up 
[/quote]

my dad and uncle are the best at racial slurs , my uncle does it for lulz , my dad does it out of spite.
I secretly hate everyone that's not Caucasian, Canadian, and atheist. But i dont let it affect my judgement in day to day things.
That said though, i do believe in racial profiling.

[/quote]

;-;

sad face

[Wedge]

[quote author=Vandamguy link=topic=545.msg13417#msg13417 date=1213728797]
[quote author=CaffeinePowered link=topic=545.msg13399#msg13399 date=1213726405]
[quote author=Vandamguy link=topic=545.msg13381#msg13381 date=1213723247]

My uncle would always talk some nonsene when he came ove rto visit , and made plays on our names. I'm Adam, that's mike. we used to call him Mike the kike, and i would be Dam boy , or Dam guy. my Uncle also liked Van Damme. so he started calling me Van dam guy.

I wish I had an uncle that called me racial slurs while I was growing up 
[/quote]

my dad and uncle are the best at racial slurs , my uncle does it for lulz , my dad does it out of spite.
I secretly hate everyone that's not Caucasian, Canadian, and atheist. But i dont let it affect my judgement in day to day things.
That said though, i do believe in racial profiling.

[/quote]

;-;

sad face


[/quote]

It's okay, it's a well documented secret the vampire remnants of the Third Reich hid in Canada, not South American.