Who is who?

[fyre]

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/index.htm

Categorize forum posters into these categories. Now. I'll do some later.

[JoKeRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR]

Mr. Grey: Eagle Scout

[fyre]

These aren't necessarily totally accurate and may change...

Admin - Caffeine Powered

Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground.

Archivist - Rumsfald

Archivist saves and squirrels away each and every discussion forum message. Do you remember having a bad day back in 1996 when in one of your messages you may have said a few things that were...well, perhaps a little...hasty? Don't worry, Archivist still has it and will post it to the forum if you begin to get the upper hand in battle. Archivist can be a very effective and fearsome Warrior.

God - Kor

In the beginning, before bandwidth, there was nothingness. Out of that endless void God and His heavenly host created...Arpanet, and it was good.
...
God, in His wrath, turned away from His people and condemned them to wander in the digital wilderness, but from time to time He will suddenly appear in mailing lists, chat rooms and discussion forums to remind us sinners that we could be saved if only we would hearken unto Him.

Jerk - Blues

Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in cyberspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth

Patois - Vongore

The tortured syntax of his messages immediately gives Patois away as a non-native speaker. Patois enters discussion forums with the best of intentions; he may want to get to know Americans, or practice his English, or exchange ideas about a particular subject. Predictably, his malaprops immediately draw fire from Evil Clown and Jerk - even Grammarian may weigh in. At first, Patois tries to parry the thrusts with inept banter, but as his tormenters turn up the heat Patois finally pops his cork. Forgetting what little English he knows he lashes out with sputtering ripostes such as, “ No, you must stopping now because you are a stupid.”, which only causes more piling on.

Rebel Without a Clue - Mr. Grey

In his frequent and ineffectual attacks on the established order he will often cite the Bible, or the US Constitution to support incoherent arguments. Rebel Without a Clue NEVER reads forum FAQs , and loudly decries as fascism any enforcement whatsoever of forum rules.

[copulatingduck]

fantastic

[sarcasticsteve]

All hail the second coming of Kor!

[Sponson]

his definition of artist is flawed.

[KarthXLR]

ALL TO THE CHURCH OF KORTHOLOGY!

[fyre]

Innocence Abused - Sgoast

Innocence Abused guards her purity jealously and cannot countenance crude language and gets the vapors over frank references to intimate bodily functions.

Perv - Vandam? Budr?

Wily and very secretive, Perv isn't actually a genuine Warrior in the strictest sense; he isn't interested in combat psychology, fighting tactics or even winning battles, and he couldn't care less about the subject under discussion - all he REALLY wants to know is what you are wearing.

Yuk Yuk - Karth

Apparently there is no joke too lame, too lurid or too inappropriate for Yuk Yuk, and he's absolutely determined to share with you every gobbet of stale drollery, every tired urban legend and every goofy web site on the internet.

Nanny - Surf

Nanny tirelessly monitors forum discussions to make sure that everyone behaves. Though he is quick to admonish for off-topic messages and petty squabbling, he is generally slow to anger. Rather than wading into pitched battles, Nanny simply pulling the plug on combatants and bans repeat offenders.Weaker Warriors such as Innocence Abused, Weenie and Crybaby will run to Nanny for protection in the midst of battle.

Necromancer - Mr. Face

Necormancer has a supernatural ability to bring long-dead forum discussion threads back to life. After having been flogged to death the thread may have been deceased for many years, and bringing it back may have scant relevance to the current topic, yet Necromancer will unexpectedly exhume the thread’s rotting corpse, and strike horror in the forum as its grotesque form lurches into the discussion. The monster, instantly recognized by all who knew it in life, seems at first to breathe and have a pulse, but, alas, it is beyond Necromancer’s skill to fully restore the thread’s original vitality. The hideous apparition may frighten away some of the weaker Warriors or Warriors badly wounded in former battles, but the thread is only a shadow of its former self and very quickly expires.

Imposter - You, Him, Me???

Impostor is a digital Proteus who changes his persona whenever it suits his purposes. That 21 year old co-ed from Arizona State you met in a discussion forum may, in fact, be a retired steel worker from Pittsburgh. Impostor will claim to be black, white, rich, poor, young, old, straight or gay, and if he's good he can pull it off - at least for a while. Of course, there are sinister, even criminal reasons Impostor would lie about who he is, but more often he fakes it to lend weight to his arguments, or simply to amuse himself. Impostor's requisite imagination and good writing skills can make him a formidable enemy, but even the best Impostors will eventually blunder and reveal their true identity. Once uncovered, Impostor always flees the field, but he may return in another form - you just never know...

Duelists - Several Pairs

In a perpetual personal feud, Duelists generally don't menace anyone but each other, unless, of course, another Warrior foolishly gets between them. They may not even remember what started the fight, but not they cordially loathe one another and seize every to go at each other. When the other Warriors eventually weary of their endless kvetching the Duelists will be shouted down or Nanny will ban them.

I'm not very good at this. Someone with a better memory and knowledge of forum personalities would be better...

his definition of artist is flawed.

That's cuz he's not talking about artists, he's talking about artistes.

[Radio Raheem]

Duelists - Several Pairs

In a perpetual personal feud, Duelists generally don't menace anyone but each other, unless, of course, another Warrior foolishly gets between them. They may not even remember what started the fight, but not they cordially loathe one another and seize every to go at each other. When the other Warriors eventually weary of their endless kvetching the Duelists will be shouted down or Nanny will ban them.

im starting a fued with honest right now so i can fit in to one of these. you gay son of a bitch its on

week after week we will see video of your family being attacked but i will conveniently be watching them beside you so it couldnt be me. eventually it all culminates in a tag team match in august. honest and blues vs tim and mystery partner. he comes out in a dumb mask or something and then it is revealed that it is the return of SWEATER!

[cannedpeahes]

Ooh, do me, do me.

On second thought, this may not be very cordial.

Honest - Rottweiler Puppy

Rottweiler Puppy is clumsy, marginally articulate, unsteady in his often playful attacks, but anyone who cares to notice will see that one day he will be a fierce and powerful Big Dog. HINT: By showing some patience and kindness to Rottweiler Puppy in his formative stages prudent Warriors may gain a steadfast and formidable ally.

Rummy - Big Cat

Big Cat would rather not fight...he enjoys peacefully observing forum conversations and laconically participates when the moods strikes. He playfully chases interesting threads, and from time to time uses a Newbie or Propellerhead as a convenient scratching post. He enjoys being stroked or petted, and tends to purr loudly. CAUTION: Don't be fooled by his fuzzy, playful exterior. When provoked, Big Cat reacts with lightning speed and almost always lands on his feet after an attack. Big Cat often indulges himself by toying with his victim before delivering his lethal blows.

Those are the only two I feel comfortable doing. Not to hate, but I have a bad hunch about this. The caricatures speak only to our bad sides.

Let's keep it civil, shall we?

[sarcasticsteve]

I am curious, someone do me!

[Luinbariel]

I am curious, someone do me!

Bend over, and we'll get started.

[sarcasticsteve]

[quote author=Sarcastic Steve link=topic=2982.msg86893#msg86893 date=1243652268]
I am curious, someone do me!

Bend over, and we'll get started.
[/quote]

+1 for making a frustrating day end on a hilarious note.

[Scary Womanizing Pig Mask]

SBCrystal and Luin (mostly for the cat part ) - Bliss Nanny

Bliss Ninny doesn't understand why people just can't get along. While it is entirely unintentional, Bliss Ninny's utterly vacuous comments can drive the more pugnacious Warriors into a frenzy of aggression. Often in the heat of battle Bliss Ninny will discuss her cat.

Hek - Philosopher (except for the humorless and aloof part)

Unlike Profundus Maximus, Philosopher can actually be quite knowledgeable on a variety of subjects. Somewhat humorless and aloof, he is also slow to anger, and when he deigns to join in the fray he is considerate of other opinions. His fighting tactics are direct and uncomplicated - he smothers the opposition with his ponderous and lengthy cogitations. Only the strongest and most patient Warriors can survive an extended battle with Philosopher.

Ain - Ent

In bygone days Ents roamed an internet paradise of purposeful forums, but in recent times Ents have grown quiet. Indeed, Ents are so rarely heard from these days that netizens have begun to doubt that they ever existed. Being privy to the secrets of the ancients Ents are an extremely powerful Warriors, and are all the more so because of the veneration in which they are held. Warriors who chop and burn an Ent in battle will not earn glory, but will instead incite the enmity of the entire forum.

Also, LOL at Jokerrrrr

[Blues]

Duelists - Several Pairs

In a perpetual personal feud, Duelists generally don't menace anyone but each other, unless, of course, another Warrior foolishly gets between them. They may not even remember what started the fight, but not they cordially loathe one another and seize every to go at each other. When the other Warriors eventually weary of their endless kvetching the Duelists will be shouted down or Nanny will ban them.

im starting a fued with honest right now so i can fit in to one of these. you gay son of a bitch its on

week after week we will see video of your family being attacked but i will conveniently be watching them beside you so it couldnt be me. eventually it all culminates in a tag team match in august. honest and blues vs tim and mystery partner. he comes out in a dumb mask or something and then it is revealed that it is the return of SWEATER!

Then he takes off his sweater mask and it's Dave. Only appropriate here.

[Honest]

[quote author=Radio Raheem link=topic=2982.msg86888#msg86888 date=1243646649]
Duelists - Several Pairs

In a perpetual personal feud, Duelists generally don't menace anyone but each other, unless, of course, another Warrior foolishly gets between them. They may not even remember what started the fight, but not they cordially loathe one another and seize every to go at each other. When the other Warriors eventually weary of their endless kvetching the Duelists will be shouted down or Nanny will ban them.

im starting a fued with honest right now so i can fit in to one of these. you gay son of a bitch its on

week after week we will see video of your family being attacked but i will conveniently be watching them beside you so it couldnt be me. eventually it all culminates in a tag team match in august. honest and blues vs tim and mystery partner. he comes out in a dumb mask or something and then it is revealed that it is the return of SWEATER!

Then he takes off his sweater mask and it's Dave. Only appropriate here.
[/quote]

IVE GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY TO MR RADIO SO CALLED RAH-EEEEEEEEEEEEM! IM GONNA GO DOWN TO CHARLESTON SOOOOOUTH CAROLINA, SPIT ON SOME HICKS, EAT AT A WHITECASTLE THEN GO DOWN TO YOUR JOOOOOB AND BREAK SOME TILES! AND SUNDAY AT THE STEEEEL CAGE MEGASLAM, I'M GONNA DO WHATEVER HOMOEROTIC THING I CAN THINK OF THAT IS ALSO A WRESTLING MOOOOVE!

Honest - Rottweiler Puppy
Rottweiler Puppy is clumsy, marginally articulate, unsteady in his often playful attacks, but anyone who cares to notice will see that one day he will be a fierce and powerful Big Dog. HINT: By showing some patience and kindness to Rottweiler Puppy in his formative stages prudent Warriors may gain a steadfast and formidable ally.

Also this is right on the money. I like to type mean things then not post them or tone them down, usually when Karth or Grey are involved.

[cbre88x]

Sweater is back?

That son of a bitch better not take my name again.

/sarcasm

[Blues]

AND SUNDAY AT THE STEEEEL CAGE MEGASLAM, I'M GONNA DO WHATEVER HOMOEROTIC THING I CAN THINK OF THAT IS ALSO A WRESTLING MOOOOVE!

All of them?


I hate my tagteam partner, can we switch Radio?

[Honest]

[quote author=Honest link=topic=2982.msg86945#msg86945 date=1243661328]AND SUNDAY AT THE STEEEEL CAGE MEGASLAM, I'M GONNA DO WHATEVER HOMOEROTIC THING I CAN THINK OF THAT IS ALSO A WRESTLING MOOOOVE!

All of them?


I hate my tagteam partner, can we switch Radio?
[/quote]

Hey fuck you, at least your tagteam partner has hair.

[Blues]

[quote author=Pokemon Trainer Blues link=topic=2982.msg86953#msg86953 date=1243663328]
[quote author=Honest link=topic=2982.msg86945#msg86945 date=1243661328]AND SUNDAY AT THE STEEEEL CAGE MEGASLAM, I'M GONNA DO WHATEVER HOMOEROTIC THING I CAN THINK OF THAT IS ALSO A WRESTLING MOOOOVE!

All of them?


I hate my tagteam partner, can we switch Radio?
[/quote]

Hey fuck you, at least your tagteam partner has hair.
[/quote]

And is still on the forums. Point taken, keeping my guy.