Dwarf Fortress

[Eschatos]

i once made suicide booths
just give them a one space bedroom and when they sleep in it lock the door
or put all the beds in the entrance area and when they sleep flood it

I prefer levers that cause caveins.

[Tragic Hero]

[quote author=TheAnyKey link=topic=901.msg106211#msg106211 date=1250301911]
i once made suicide booths
just give them a one space bedroom and when they sleep in it lock the door
or put all the beds in the entrance area and when they sleep flood it

I prefer levers that cause caveins.
[/quote]

Ok so i'll bite.  Why should you kill off your nobles?  It's been years since ive played the game but I couldn't remember any reason to kill them off

[Luca Shoal]

Because they're unproductive Doofs.

[Creepy]

I dunno...  I've had a Dungeon Master in my fortress that seemed quite willing to help with the odd job here and there.

[Chaosye]

I dunno...  I've had a Dungeon Master in my fortress that seemed quite willing to help with the odd job here and there.

Dungeon Master and Mayor are the only useful ones.
All the other ones are lazy bums.

[Eschatos]

Plus their stupid mandates often get useful dwarves killed when they're impossible to fulfill.

[Sponson]

A LEGENDARY SLATE BED MUST BE THE WORLD'S MOST COMFORTABLE THING

[Versus]

A LEGENDARY SLATE BED MUST BE THE WORLD'S MOST COMFORTABLE THING

hahahahaha

ok fine, i'll download this.

also, lulz were had from reading the Dwarf Fortress forum.

"Okay, I've just tried this mod out for the first time... and died before my first trade caravan entered my depot...

To green slimes.

They just oozed in and killed everyone... there's bits of blood and beard plastered to the walls with the very slime that killed them... All that remains is the heavily armed and uninjured trade caravan, sat in my Trade Depot, cleaning the slime out of their beards and watching my mechanic (the last survivor) bleed to death, and complaining that there's no-one to trade with. I LOVE THIS MOD"

edit: holy balls world generation takes a while

edit: oh god what do i do

[copulatingduck]

[quote author=Sponson link=topic=901.msg106405#msg106405 date=1250377436]
A LEGENDARY SLATE BED MUST BE THE WORLD'S MOST COMFORTABLE THING

hahahahaha

ok fine, i'll download this.

also, lulz were had from reading the Dwarf Fortress forum.

"Okay, I've just tried this mod out for the first time... and died before my first trade caravan entered my depot...

To green slimes.

They just oozed in and killed everyone... there's bits of blood and beard plastered to the walls with the very slime that killed them... All that remains is the heavily armed and uninjured trade caravan, sat in my Trade Depot, cleaning the slime out of their beards and watching my mechanic (the last survivor) bleed to death, and complaining that there's no-one to trade with. I LOVE THIS MOD"

edit: holy balls world generation takes a while

edit: oh god what do i do
[/quote]

get raped


then learn to read

[Chaosye]

[quote author=Versus-pwny- link=topic=901.msg106950#msg106950 date=1250580081]
[quote author=Sponson link=topic=901.msg106405#msg106405 date=1250377436]
A LEGENDARY SLATE BED MUST BE THE WORLD'S MOST COMFORTABLE THING

hahahahaha

ok fine, i'll download this.

also, lulz were had from reading the Dwarf Fortress forum.

"Okay, I've just tried this mod out for the first time... and died before my first trade caravan entered my depot...

To green slimes.

They just oozed in and killed everyone... there's bits of blood and beard plastered to the walls with the very slime that killed them... All that remains is the heavily armed and uninjured trade caravan, sat in my Trade Depot, cleaning the slime out of their beards and watching my mechanic (the last survivor) bleed to death, and complaining that there's no-one to trade with. I LOVE THIS MOD"

edit: holy balls world generation takes a while

edit: oh god what do i do
[/quote]

get raped


then learn to read

[/quote]
http://dwarf.lendemaindeveille.com/index.php/Main_Page
READ THAT SHIT

[Squishy3]

Okay starting to play this game 

place your bets on how fast I die

[Chaosye]

25th Obsidian, 230
I have been informed that I am going to be forced to lead a fortress that had been established a couple of years ago by the sea.  No idea why i'm being sent there, considering I can't even control a pet, but I have to go otherwise my beard is going to be chopped off.  Fucking nobles.

1st Granite, 231
I've arrived at the fortress, and it actually seems like it's in pretty damn good shape, to say the least.  I've written up a little report on the status of the place, for those nobles that sent me here.

I've also noticed that there's barely any wildlife around this place, except for 5 elephants.   Those things are creepy as fuck.


4th Granite, 231
Holy fuck this place is unorganized

We need more barrels.

16th Granite, 231
I've started carving out a sparring room for our military dwarves.  Have to keep them in shape.
Also the elves hippy bastards came today, and our unloading in our depot.  I really wish I could just kill them, but we could use any tame animals they might have.

And why the fuck do we have so many damn doors.


20th Granite, 231
Goblins!  Those green bastards are trying to destroy the caravan, and steal all of our babies for some reason.
Also the Ex-Mayor's cat is swimming into the sea for some reason.

22nd Granite, 231
We beat the hell out of those goblins, most of them have kicked the bucket and the ones that survived retreated.
Our Guard Captain, Luca, has gotten both his arms pretty badly mangled though, they're barely hanging onto his body
It's disturbing to say the least.

Fuck, the elves ran away right when the fight ended so now we can't trade.
Goddamn elves.

27th Felsite, 231
Setting up traps around the fortress and far out into the wild areas.
I'm gonna catch me some elephants.

4th Hematite, 231
Some mason named Olon Oltarborush just claimed the mason's workshop for something 'secretive'.
I could really use a new bed.

10th Hematite, 231
One of the Human's Guild Representatives came here by himself.  Not sure what he's planning on discussing.

12th Hematite, 231
The guy who claimed the mason's workshop made a really fancy-ass weapon rack called Shasardural, or Frighthonor.


17th Hematite, 231
Well shit.


18th Hematite, 231
Wait a minute...
Oh fuck the Human caravan came at the exact same time as the siege did.

At least this means more soldiers.

22nd Hematite, 231
We are being completely slaughtered, almost all of our crossbowmen are dying, and all of our close combat dwarves are resting from the previous ambush.
I might have to take drastic measures and start the full city militia.

25th Hematite, 231
We have defended ourselves from the goblins, but many of our men died, and the leader of the crossbow group is severely injured...
I have never seen so much blood.


17th Malachite, 231
Guess who caught 5 7 9  TWELVE elephants?

I DIIIIIIID
We will soon have WAR MACHINES.


19th Galena, 231
Progress on the Great Brewery is going well.

12th Limestone, 231
The caravan from the homeland has arrived!
Now we can get some metal, we need to make more armor and weapons.

Also I apparently managed to capture the Giant Jaguar that was stalking our fortress while I wasn't looking.  Hooray!

28th Limestone, 231
Mechanic got into a fey mood and claimed a mechanics shop.  He's probably just going to make a legendary mechanism. 


11th Sandstone, 231
The Great Brewery is complete!  I can still make it bigger, but this will do for now.


6th Opal, 231
I fucking love beer.


24th Obsidian, 231
Well, the nobles way back at the Mountainhome have sent me a message, saying that they are going to send another man to lead this fortress.  Well, at least I'll know that i'm gonna have to do a lot less work around here.  With that said and done, I'm packing out of my office and i'm thinking of becoming a brewer here.  Need someone to make sure my successor makes the Brewery right.

[Eschatos]

Oooh. Make me mayor again.  And execute the old one.

[Chaosye]

Oooh. Make me mayor again.  And execute the old one.

How about no

[Luca Shoal]

Doors are useful for dooring things.

Eat the elephants. Also, you can delete a depot with the traders in it. They'll leave their stuff and you don't have to trade. And no repercussions other than you can never sell that stuff . It's marked as stolen, but there's no reaction from the elves/humans/doofs/whoever you trade with. They just leave.

[Chaosye]

Doors are useful for dooring things.

Eat the elephants. Also, you can delete a depot with the traders in it. They'll leave their stuff and you don't have to trade. And no repercussions other than you can never sell that stuff . It's marked as stolen, but there's no reaction from the elves/humans/doofs/whoever you trade with. They just leave.

I thought that if you did that too much, take stolen items, then the faction will start a war with you.
But then again, elves are pretty damn weak except for their marksmen.

But really, we have over two hundred doors
WE DON'T NEED THAT MANY

Also I'll try taming the elephants
WAR ELEPHANTS FUCK YEAH

[Eschatos]

Don't underestimate the elves.  It gets annoying when civilians can't leave the fortress without getting shot.

[Chaosye]

We will soon have the strongest army known to dwarfkind >

[Creepy]

I never mentioned it, but I was doing my best to train war animals from what I had.  It mostly meant war dogs and WAR CATS before, but there should be some at least somewhat skilled trainers about the fort.

[Versus]

JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR