The "Fuck my life" thread

[beep beep diglett]

which one, jeff?

[zaneyard]

raped

[Turtle]

hahahaha

[Geoff]

which one, jeff?

you win this time

[Versus]

[quote author=at0m link=topic=3709.msg145957#msg145957 date=1270827085]
My girlfriend had surgery today (wisdom teeth), and I have to work in Baltimore over the weekend. And one of my douchebag sales guys keeps hounding me on a project he KNOWS I can't work on. The same one who's the reason I had to drive back and forth to Baltimore three times in 7 days. I'm so pissed off right now I'm having a difficult time being productive.

Zargon, your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to find Atom in Baltimore, and give him a frosty mug of beer
[/quote]

this

[quote author=lil d link=topic=3709.msg146015#msg146015 date=1270842752]
which one, jeff?

you win this time


[/quote]

LMAO

[Tricks]

[quote author=lil d link=topic=3709.msg146015#msg146015 date=1270842752]
which one, jeff?

you win this time


[/quote]

even though you lost

you somehow still won

good job sir

[at0m]

I told my boss fuck it, I've got to take care of my GF, I'm not staying over the weekend, and am letting another engineer take the fall for the machine not being used over the weekend because he's too lazy to come in. I haven't left yet though, nor have I checked out of my hotel :x Paying for a bed I'm not sleeping in, derp.

[Didzo]

[quote author=Eightball link=topic=3709.msg145903#msg145903 date=1270787261]
Not so bad. My worst nightmare is waking up to find one of these on the floor next to my bed.

what the fuckkkkkkk
[/quote]

That's nothing but your friendly neighborhood giant isopod.

[at0m]

[quote author=Vandamguy link=topic=3709.msg145905#msg145905 date=1270788272]
[quote author=Eightball link=topic=3709.msg145903#msg145903 date=1270787261]
Not so bad. My worst nightmare is waking up to find one of these on the floor next to my bed.

what the fuckkkkkkk
[/quote]

That's nothing but your friendly neighborhood giant isopod.


[/quote]I'm more creeped out by the tongue-eating one than the giant one. The giant one just looks like a huge roly-poly, that's not scary at all.

[Turtle]

[quote author=Didzo link=topic=3709.msg146061#msg146061 date=1270855862]
[quote author=Vandamguy link=topic=3709.msg145905#msg145905 date=1270788272]
[quote author=Eightball link=topic=3709.msg145903#msg145903 date=1270787261]
Not so bad. My worst nightmare is waking up to find one of these on the floor next to my bed.

what the fuckkkkkkk
[/quote]

That's nothing but your friendly neighborhood giant isopod.


[/quote]I'm more creeped out by the tongue-eating one than the giant one. The giant one just looks like a huge roly-poly, that's not scary at all.
[/quote]
That article says they only eat fish tongues, worst they do to a human is bite you

[Black Aspen]

I'm more creeped out by the tongue-eating one than the giant one. The giant one just looks like a huge roly-poly, that's not scary at all.

Learned about these on SModcast.  Nice to see a picture of one finally.

[Geoff]

your spawn will be mine

[Luinbariel]

Jesus christ it pretends to be your TONGUE?



REALLY?



Kill me now.

[Chief]

Jesus christ it pretends to be your TONGUE?



REALLY?



Kill me now.

Mr Chambers added: "It doesn't affect humans other than if you do actually come across a live one and try and pick it up - they are quite vicious, they will deliver a good nip."

i want you to live luin ;_;

[Luinbariel]

[quote author=Luinbariel link=topic=3709.msg146180#msg146180 date=1270934557]
Jesus christ it pretends to be your TONGUE?



REALLY?



Kill me now.

Mr Chambers added: "It doesn't affect humans other than if you do actually come across a live one and try and pick it up - they are quite vicious, they will deliver a good nip."

i want you to live luin ;_;
[/quote]

Man I don't care if they don't replace MY tongue. Knowing that there's something out there replacing something ELSE'S tongue with itself... I just... I can't continue.




Not really, I'll be fine. But man that's just fucking sick.

[beep beep diglett]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remora

10000% less disgusting than tongue bug thing

[HeK]

i want you to live luin ;_;

Hey, come on over. Have a 'hamburger'.

[A. Crow]

So yeah, while I was in the field during the week, she was offered a job "controlling" the brown tree snake populations... in Guam. 

[at0m]

'Was offered' isn't FML. 'Took', is.

[rumsfald]

Everyone knows the brown tree snakes in Guam refuse to be controlled.

If you really, really think she is that special, Guam doesn't have to be a bad assignment for her/you. She'll be remote on a tiny little island community where the chances of being around similarly interesting like minded people are slim to none. Sure, she'll probably be lonely and have some TDY hookups (controlling snakes of all colors, haha), but not likely anything special or lasting. As long as you are ok with that, and can play it cool (ice cold), you could make this work. Because, chances are, she won't find any really interesting dudes there. At the end of a long day of snake-wrangling, she may be dying to talk to someone who a)isn't her boss, b) isn't just trying to get into her pants, and c) actually "gets" her. Bonus points for being someone that actually cares about her.

The first step is, if she is excited about it, to be happy for her. If she is excited because this is a sweet assignment for her, you do not want to throw cold water on that by focusing on how Guam makes you so sad. She seems like the type of independent chick that wants a guy to support her career, not try to hold her back.

If you can see yourself now in a long-term relationship with her, chances are in 2-3 years when she returns from Guam you would still be into her, so, set yourself up for that. Focus on the intellectual side of your friendship, the kind of stuff you can continue through the internet (facebook, txts, email, join an anime board together, find a game to play together, whatever). If she is that special of a person, you should show her that you are confident and comfortable enough with being her long-distance friend. Go with the good and let go of the usual possessive/jealous/needy guy routine. She doesn't like long-distance relationships, so don't force her into that, especially when you know you'll be prowling around in KY (both the state and the lube), and she'll be prowling around in Guam. No promises of being sexually faithful, no promises of getting back together when she returns, just the promise to continue this cool connection you have going. I'm not saying to hide your lustful feelings for her, either now or via long distance, just be cool about it and don't pressure her, and let her know sincerely how much you like her as a person.

If she goes to Guam, it's likely going to be a tough assignment for her at this stage in her life, and she will need some friendship and support. If you aren't confident and comfortable enough to be that person, she'll find someone else.

If you play it right, she will need someplace to visit when she returns to CONUS on vacation. And you'll need somewhere to go during your vacation, and you've always wanted to see Guam...