This Made My Day/Improved My Day Thread!

[Professor Funbucks]

Best of all, the place that seems like they'd hire me the most is a bikini store.

[Radio Raheem]

can i be your roommate / work buddy

[copulatingduck]

Best of all, the place that seems like they'd hire me the most is a bikini store.

so one time in high school i was on a band trip to schlitterbahn or splashtown, i forget which. the brass sextet i performed in managed to put together an awesome performance and we ended up with a first division rating at state, which was pretty fucking awesome, but i guess that's irrelevant to the story. anyways every year after state competition our band would go to schlitterbahn for a day to celebrate. so i'm wandering around the park with some friends and we decided we wanted to go ride the biggest rides (Texas mentality and all, bigger is better). so we take a tram over to the section of the park that housed all the largest attractions. once we get there, we grab our inner tubes and head over to the master blaster (literally a roller coaster made of water, you even go up and down hills, it's pretty sick).

anyways, we get there and the line is about 45 minutes long. but we got nothing better to do, and we really wanted to ride the master blaster, so we wait. there's not much to do in a 45 minute line, but thankfully we were all like 17 so it doesn't really take much to amuse us (no homo). the first gem of the attraction is the sign for the ride. "MASTER BLASTER" was in giant bold caps, followed by a bunch of health warnings, but nobody really cared about any of that, that's not the point. but being a water park in Texas, this sign was subject to a LOT of sun. it wasn't that old, but some of the latex letters had already started to peel. someone peeled off a couple and the sign read:

MASTER B A TER

like i said, we were like 17 at the time so we all thought this was a riot and could not stop laughing. people were probably giving us funny looks, i don't really remember, i couldn't even keep my eyes open i was laughing so hard. eventually as the line moves we pass out of view of the sign and quickly calm down. but by then it was getting really hot just sitting in the sun waiting to ride the masterbater and i'm starting to get bored. jeremy, a ginger that was with us spots the cure though. "Dude, check that lady out." I start to ask where, but think better of it when I spot the whale of a woman he's referring to.

"oh dude, CMON," is all i can manage before i look away.

"no dude, check it out. look again, but at her knees."

by now i'm bored enough that i go for, i've got nothing better to do, so i look again. that's when my stomach started to turn. i go to look at her knees, thinking there's something odd about them that jeremy wanted me to check out. nope, that wasn't the case. that rotten ginger sonuvabitch just threw something out there innocuous enough, with just enough proximity that the slightest waver in attention would be your downfall.

that lady had with her, the most enormous, soggy bush I had ever seen in my life. i mean, this thing was so out of control it would have made Kid from House Party jealous. it was ridiculous, and it was literally spilling out of both legs of her one piece. i was both transfixed and disgusted, and sometimes i wonder if this wasn't a precursor to my college years, where i displayed what was perhaps a somewhat unhealthy fascination with all the fucked up shit you can find on the internet. i turned my head away faster this time, muttering invectives so colorful you'd be surprised a 17-yo had come up with them. that dirty motherfucker had got me good.

luckily the doubletake was not enough to catch walrus-lady's attention, and the rest of the group soon followed suit in observing and then wincing away the pain. but for a bunch of teenagers with wild imaginations, it was already too late. we would be scarred for life, and the worst part was that ms. manatee's bush was probably the first that most of my friends had ever seen in real life. that conniving pasty had taken us all for a ride, and laughed his braces-face off the rest of our wait in line.



i've read before that supposedly readheads have higher pain tolerances than most. i wonder if that is simply an elevated physical threshold, or a mental one as well. jeremy sure didn't seem too perturbed by his glimpse of amazonian wonder, but it could just be that he was sick in the head. whatever the case, we were sure to push him far beyond his threshold on the way home. carrotheads dont take too kindly to indian rugburns, especially after they've spent an entire day at a texas waterpark without a shirt.

[Darklink]

http://www.jonesbigasswebsiteandmerchand...page_id=17

[Versus]

god schlitterbahn rapes

[HeK]

Finished day-one of performance driving school and I was able to keep with with an Audi R8*









*In the corners, and only cause the driver was wussing out. Still awesome to see a 12 year old $6000 car hugging the ass of a $200,000 'supercar'.

[Professor Funbucks]

ive only heard of schlitterbahn in stories from my dad.

[SAVAGE-0]

Finished day-one of performance driving school and I was able to keep with with an Audi R8*









*In the corners, and only cause the driver was wussing out. Still awesome to see a 12 year old $6000 car hugging the ass of a $200,000 'supercar'.

my dad was in the dealer's picking up his a6 after repairs and they had a R8 on the floor, he was going gaga

[copulatingduck]

better than cowboy


The Best of Sparky Kibble Dancing

[A. Crow]

thankyou.

[Mission Difficult]

that lady had with her, the most enormous, soggy bush I had ever seen in my life.

Buckwheat in a leg lock.

[Chief]

By disabling Friends and In-Game UI, I am able to dominate and rape everyone in TF2 to climb the ranks.

[Radio Raheem]

so steam finally stops raping your fps by doing that? thats a good idea

[Surf314]

Paying all my bills and paid off my CC (again). Getting paid rocks.

[Chief]

so steam finally stops raping your fps by doing that? thats a good idea

no it was fucking with my VAC stuff, it kept on disconnecting me in-game

[Luinbariel]

My brother will be in the city this week to hang out for a bit! I don't see much of him anymore since he lives like 15 hours away now.. but I heard he's also going to be putting in an application for the company he works at in this city. So maybe he'll move back here soon! I miss hanging out with him.

[at0m]

http://www.purplepornstars.com/

[Didzo]

[quote author=Duck link=topic=2632.msg150674#msg150674 date=1273030237]
http://www.purplepornstars.com/

[/quote]

[If-I-Die-Its-Lag]

I owned Zaneyard in SCII yesterday.

[zaneyard]

FU

also, Gmote is fucking awesome, if only i had networked speakers in my home

after some research, networked speakers look really bad right now

unfortunately, as awesome as controlling my computer with my phone is, it doesn't do a whole lot for me and this wasn't the solution for what i'm trying to do