The "Fuck my life" thread

[Vlambo]

I'm an engineer and what is this, I don't even:

[quote author=Generic Job Application]If you were a member of a sports team, what position would you play and why?

If you were to compete in the Olympics which event would you like to compete in and why?

Integrity is measured by the distance between your lips and your life – What does this mean to you?

Fucking hate retard-jobs with retard-applications that take themselves too seriously. This is probably why I can't find a job
[/quote]

1. Defence on a hockey team. We anchor 75% of the ice at all times, and games rest upon our shoulders. We take most of the workload and work in stride.

2. Team Canada Hockey. I'm a Goddamn Canuck.

3. If you suck a dick, you'll do anything to impress someone. Keep em shut, and you'll impress yourself with your ethic.

[copulatingduck]

I agree that sucks Karth, but at least you can bullshit about wanting a punctual, drug-free, hard-working beaner or something. I think I'm gonna be the waterboy for the US Powerlifting team, that will probably get me all the ladies

[KarthXLR]

I agree that sucks Karth, but at least you can bullshit about wanting a punctual, drug-free, hard-working beaner or something. I think I'm gonna be the waterboy for the US Powerlifting team, that will probably get me all the ladies

...actually it was my only interview.

[Live-Free-Or-Pie]

[quote author=Duck link=topic=3709.msg163817#msg163817 date=1279151338]
I'm an engineer and what is this, I don't even:

[quote author=Generic Job Application]If you were a member of a sports team, what position would you play and why?

If you were to compete in the Olympics which event would you like to compete in and why?

Integrity is measured by the distance between your lips and your life – What does this mean to you?

Fucking hate retard-jobs with retard-applications that take themselves too seriously. This is probably why I can't find a job
[/quote]

1. Defence on a hockey team. We anchor 75% of the ice at all times, and games rest upon our shoulders. We take most of the workload and work in stride.

2. Team Canada Hockey. I'm a Goddamn Canuck.

3. If you suck a dick, you'll do anything to impress someone. Keep em shut, and you'll impress yourself with your ethic.
[/quote]

It could be worse, they could subject you to a bullshit polygraph

[beep beep diglett]

duck, can you provide a list of responses for 300,000 things that may occur? we need to know who can bullshit the best so we can hire them

[copulatingduck]

[quote author=Vlambo link=topic=3709.msg163828#msg163828 date=1279152006]
[quote author=Duck link=topic=3709.msg163817#msg163817 date=1279151338]
I'm an engineer and what is this, I don't even:

[quote author=Generic Job Application]If you were a member of a sports team, what position would you play and why?

If you were to compete in the Olympics which event would you like to compete in and why?

Integrity is measured by the distance between your lips and your life – What does this mean to you?

Fucking hate retard-jobs with retard-applications that take themselves too seriously. This is probably why I can't find a job
[/quote]

1. Defence on a hockey team. We anchor 75% of the ice at all times, and games rest upon our shoulders. We take most of the workload and work in stride.

2. Team Canada Hockey. I'm a Goddamn Canuck.

3. If you suck a dick, you'll do anything to impress someone. Keep em shut, and you'll impress yourself with your ethic.
[/quote]

It could be worse, they could subject you to a bullshit polygraph
[/quote]

I would rather take a polygraph than answer some stupid contrived questions with more contrived, and tangentially-relevant-at-best insights into my character that some moron manager thinks still passes for sound hiring practices. It'd be one thing if they actually worked, but I can't imagine that they're doing a very good job when the position has such a high turnover rate. If the job involves anything technical in anyways, here's an idea: why not administer a technical aptitude test? The stupidity boggles my mind.

[beep beep diglett]

i get it, i really do, you're trying to weed out psychos and lazy people, but christ on a stick, just set up a fuckin interview. if you cant judge someones character from that, maybe you shouldnt be the one hiring people

[copulatingduck]

Maybe some seriously introverted nerd is the one doing the hiring and that's why they don't want to do interviews...



cmon james gimme job

[at0m]

I'm afraid that if I take a polygraph, they'll figure out that I've been a sociopath all along.

[Luinbariel]

I was under the impression that polygraphs only prove that someone is nervous. That's it.

[Didzo]

1. A position where you are the main structure of the team. You may not be the main point-scorer, it's you who carries the entire operation on your shoulders.

2. Pick an individual sport, such as tennis, swimming, or martial arts. While you're still on a team, in the end it's your own skill, determination, and technique that make sure you succeed.

3. Having good integrity relies on being true to your words.

[KarthXLR]

only comment about jobs



EVERYTHING IS ONLINE



WHY ARE APPLICATIONS ONLINE THIS DESTROYS EVERYTHING I KNEW ABOUT JOB HUNTING


OH WHAT'S THAT? 100+ POINTLESS QUESTIONS THAT EACH HAVE 4 OR 5 ANSWERS? SOME OF THEM ARE REPEATS? SURE WHY NOT, IT'S SO MUCH MORE CONVENIENT THAN TURNING IN A TWO-PAGE APPLICATION.

[copulatingduck]

I appreciate the helpful comments and just people tolerating me venting about idiot hiring processes thx guys

[Mission Difficult]

It could be worse, they could subject you to a bullshit polygraph

Reminds me of this:
Shoecourt Shoe Store Job Interview


Also, polygraph tests are bullshit. Just clench your sphincter when you're telling the truth and release when you're telling a lie. Fucks the whole thing up.

[beep beep diglett]

+1 to mission

[rumsfald]

I'm an engineer and what is this, I don't even:

[quote author=Generic Job Application]If you were a member of a sports team, what position would you play and why?

If you were to compete in the Olympics which event would you like to compete in and why?

Integrity is measured by the distance between your lips and your life – What does this mean to you?

Fucking hate retard-jobs with retard-applications that take themselves too seriously. This is probably why I can't find a job
[/quote]

Son, I am disappoint.

1) Your answer, "I would play medic. No one else can be trusted with building, keeping, and using ubers. Also, guys like radio would be my pocket soldier."

2) Your answer, "competitive best of 5 on gravelpit"

3) Your answer, "If I could put my lips on my life, I'd have no integrity. I'd also never leave the house, like james."

[beep beep diglett]

[quote author=Duck link=topic=3709.msg163817#msg163817 date=1279151338]
I'm an engineer and what is this, I don't even:

[quote author=Generic Job Application]If you were a member of a sports team, what position would you play and why?

If you were to compete in the Olympics which event would you like to compete in and why?

Integrity is measured by the distance between your lips and your life – What does this mean to you?

Fucking hate retard-jobs with retard-applications that take themselves too seriously. This is probably why I can't find a job
[/quote]

Son, I am disappoint.

1) Your answer, "I would play medic. No one else can be trusted with building, keeping, and using ubers. Also, guys like radio would be my pocket soldier."

2) Your answer, "competitive best of 5 on gravelpit"

3) Your answer, "If I could put my lips on my life, I'd have no integrity. I'd also never leave the house, like james."
[/quote]

or if you dont like tf2

1) I would play a priest. They are the lynch pin that keeps raids together, plus, you can't do Instructor Razivious without me!
2) Blackwing lair, because that's where tier 2 drops. It's an upgrade plus i want the set bonus.
3) I would put them next together in my backpack.

[Odin]

Sick, stressed, missing someone I haven't seen in a little while...

Blarg.

[A. Crow]

I'm on that steady glide where you can operate fairly well with shit for sleep for DAYS.....  last night there was not one, but TWO friendly fire incidents, one serious, one minor.  A serious head trauma on a mrap hatch, the MPs burned a gun truck to the ground, and some one ran over a HMMWV with a d7 dozer.  And here is LT crow trying to track it all...  I left work at 0130, I go in at 0500.  This is the second night that's happened in a row. 

[beep beep diglett]

that blows, dude  :-\