The "Fuck my life" thread

[zaneyard]

also get raped matter11111111111

[Dtrain323i]

i poured a lotttttttttt in this drink and i dunno what's going on with my emotions. this girl that i like and i made out last night and stuff and now she's telling me that she wants to be friends or some shit and that she's fraid of serious emotions i mean relationships. and this is the first time in a long time that i've actually given a shit about someone and fukc i duno what to do.

Just be like "Don't worry baby, I don't have feelings for you. I just want to pee in your butt"

[CaffeinePowered]

[quote author=zaneyard link=topic=3709.msg234872#msg234872 date=1325133139]
i poured a lotttttttttt in this drink and i dunno what's going on with my emotions. this girl that i like and i made out last night and stuff and now she's telling me that she wants to be friends or some shit and that she's fraid of serious emotions i mean relationships. and this is the first time in a long time that i've actually given a shit about someone and fukc i duno what to do.

Just be like "Don't worry baby, I don't have feelings for you. I just want to pee in your butt"
[/quote]

"Sure, thats cool, lets be friends then"

Follow up with getting drunk and fucking anyway

[Kirby]

[quote author=Dtrain323i link=topic=3709.msg234895#msg234895 date=1325175374]
[quote author=zaneyard link=topic=3709.msg234872#msg234872 date=1325133139]
i poured a lotttttttttt in this drink and i dunno what's going on with my emotions. this girl that i like and i made out last night and stuff and now she's telling me that she wants to be friends or some shit and that she's fraid of serious emotions i mean relationships. and this is the first time in a long time that i've actually given a shit about someone and fukc i duno what to do.

Just be like "Don't worry baby, I don't have feelings for you. I just want to pee in your butt"
[/quote]

"Sure, thats cool, lets be friends then"

Follow up with getting drunk and fucking anyway
[/quote]





Finished by peeing in her butt, then exclaiming "I AM SUPERMAN!" and doing a ninja vanish.

[zaneyard]

you guys all give terrible advice.

[Dr. Zaius]

you guys all give terrible advice.

All you need to do is figure out what she absolutely can't resist, then crush it right in front of her. Devaluing her interests makes yours more important. I've seen this work all the time.




I'm not even going to put a sarcasm flag after that.

[zaneyard]

actually caf gives good advice

getting drunk and fucking is always the right answer

[rumsfald]

this girl that i like and i made out last night and stuff and now she's telling me that she wants to be friends or some shit and that she's fraid of serious emotions i mean relationships. and this is the first time in a long time that i've actually given a shit about someone and fukc i duno what to do.

be cool, zane. (ICE COLD).

Tell her it's cool that she doesn't want a serious relationship with you right now as you can return that diamond you bought her and put that cash into upgrades to your bike.

After that, look her in the eye and be honest that you did have a fun time with her, and you want to see if you two can recapture that magic and have another fun time together. She will either agree that she could see herself having another fun time with you, or not. If she says not, move on.

If she can see having a fun time with you again, then agree hangout one event at a time. You don't need to put a label on it already like "relationship" or "serious." That would be weird this early in getting to know each other.

Seriously, the first time I joined this forum I wasn't like "OMG I LUV YOU GEOFF YOU ARE MY FAVORITE FRIEND EVAR." No, that would have been weird and stalkerish. Rather, I built up my relationship with him the old-fashioned way, like any pro-stalker does, one muffin that dances at a time.

also, do some of this

[zaneyard]

we decided on being friends with benefits
this works out well, because boobies. also, I'm still a bit confused if I really want to be in a committed relationship or not. We seem to get along rather well and maybe this will develop into something else at some point in time. But she's kinda busy with school and work so I can see why a "relationship" wouldn't be the best thing to try to squeeze in there. Maybe I just fall for girls way too easily. But that's not something I can really control can I? In the meantime I get to have sex and I don't even have to take her out on dates and shit like that. Dating is just a fancy word for prostitution anyway.


also, i could stare at this guy for hours.

also also, thanks for the slap down to earth here rummy, I was kinda in a weird drunken place last night and I kinda just freaked out. I need someone to pour drinks for me so I don't decide 50/50 gin/lemonade is a good idea. my loneliness causes me to be rather desperate at times and i need to grow up sometimes. I try really hard to not get too stressed out about being alone but then someone pretty comes along that I actually enjoy the company of (which is rather rare these days i seem to dislike a lot of things now) and things get a little haywire in my head.

[matter11]

we decided on being friends with benefits
this works out well, because boobies. also, I'm still a bit confused if I really want to be in a committed relationship or not. We seem to get along rather well and maybe this will develop into something else at some point in time. But she's kinda busy with school and work so I can see why a "relationship" wouldn't be the best thing to try to squeeze in there. Maybe I just fall for girls way too easily. But that's not something I can really control can I? In the meantime I get to have sex and I don't even have to take her out on dates and shit like that. Dating is just a fancy word for prostitution anyway.

also, i could stare at this guy for hours.

also also, thanks for the slap down to earth here rummy, I was kinda in a weird drunken place last night and I kinda just freaked out. I need someone to pour drinks for me so I don't decide 50/50 gin/lemonade is a good idea. my loneliness causes me to be rather desperate at times and i need to grow up sometimes. I try really hard to not get too stressed out about being alone but then someone pretty comes along that I actually enjoy the company of (which is rather rare these days i seem to dislike a lot of things now) and things get a little haywire in my head.

I feel like it would be easy to turn fwb in to a relationship. just go down.

[at0m]

Just had that chat with my friend in chicago along those lines. Still not sure where I'm going with that one.

[Dtrain323i]

Just had that chat with my friend in chicago along those lines. Still not sure where I'm going with that one.

I'm sure Caffeine would love to be friend with benefits with you.

[zaneyard]

[quote author=at0m link=topic=3709.msg234982#msg234982 date=1325242549]
Just had that chat with my friend in chicago along those lines. Still not sure where I'm going with that one.

I'm sure Caffeine would love to be friend with benefits with you.
[/quote]
except just make sure he doesn't pass out going for a kiss

[Kirby]

[quote author=Dtrain323i link=topic=3709.msg234993#msg234993 date=1325250844]
[quote author=at0m link=topic=3709.msg234982#msg234982 date=1325242549]
Just had that chat with my friend in chicago along those lines. Still not sure where I'm going with that one.

I'm sure Caffeine would love to be friend with benefits with you.
[/quote]
except just make sure he doesn't pass out going for a kiss
[/quote]


Why would you purposefully ruin awesome photo op  ???

[Geoff]

fuck i hate fighting with anyone


always feel bad afterwards

[Dr. Zaius]

I pinched a nerve or something in my neck after I woke up this morning.

I don't even want to exist right now this is such bullshit.

[Didzo]

I pinched a nerve or something in my neck after I woke up this morning.

I don't even want to exist right now this is such bullshit.

You need me to give you a massage.

:-*

[at0m]

[quote author=Dr. Zaius link=topic=3709.msg235132#msg235132 date=1325364421]
I pinched a nerve or something in my neck after I woke up this morning.

I don't even want to exist right now this is such bullshit.

You need me to give you a massage.

:-*
[/quote]boing

[Dr. Zaius]

[quote author=Didzo link=topic=3709.msg235146#msg235146 date=1325374396]
[quote author=Dr. Zaius link=topic=3709.msg235132#msg235132 date=1325364421]
I pinched a nerve or something in my neck after I woke up this morning.

I don't even want to exist right now this is such bullshit.

You need me to give you a massage.

:-*
[/quote]boing
[/quote]

[Badgerman of DOOM]

ever have a beagle
their shrill barks can probably pierce most soundproofing and drive even the most sane man absolutely bonkers with constant exposure
i am already not sane. i am about to snap. fuckin this is the ONE part i hate about being home