The "Fuck my life" thread

[Didzo]

It sometimes feel like time just passes and I feel stagnant, lost, and without drive. I don't know what to do or how to do it.

[Dtrain323i]

It sometimes feel like time just passes and I feel stagnant, lost, and without drive. I don't know what to do or how to do it.

I know that feel bro.


I solved it by starting college from scratch by changing my major. Now only my job makes me feel stagnant and lost.

[matter11]

[quote author=Didzo link=topic=3709.msg239948#msg239948 date=1330423276]
It sometimes feel like time just passes and I feel stagnant, lost, and without drive. I don't know what to do or how to do it.

I know that feel bro.
I solved it by starting college from scratch by changing my major. Now only my job makes me feel stagnant and lost.
[/quote]

I'm gonna be an accounting major so stagnancy is my goal.

also I'm eating cereal and a peanut butter sandwich without milk. I refuse to call it a first world problem, this is terrible.

[CaffeinePowered]

...While you guys aren't exactly going about it nicely Karth's got a point... On a side note can anyone drive me to the plasma center... McDonnald's won't hire my stellar 1.0 GPA, no collage, pile of fail ass on my word alone and I need food money...

Probably a better way to state it would have been "I couldn't get motivated and failed this course, how can I get motivated in the future so I don't fuck up again". Asking ex post-facto doesn't help, 'I couldn't motivate myself, feel sorry for me' then blaming others is going to get a more tough love response than 'I couldn't motivate myself, how do I fix this'.


As for your own problems, maybe post your resume here? And continue to apply everywhere, smile, be enthusiastic, and act like you genuinely want the job. Take something that is absolutely shit if you need to, night shift, cleaning literal shit, doesn't matter, do a good job, your boss' will like you for it and when you are prepared to switch jobs or move up the ladder somewhere they will put a good word in for you.

Never underestimate the value of networking, even when it comes to shitty jobs. Also ask nearby friends/family if they know anyone who is in a position to hire people.

[at0m]

[quote author=Dtrain323i link=topic=3709.msg239953#msg239953 date=1330434892]
[quote author=Didzo link=topic=3709.msg239948#msg239948 date=1330423276]
It sometimes feel like time just passes and I feel stagnant, lost, and without drive. I don't know what to do or how to do it.

I know that feel bro.
I solved it by starting college from scratch by changing my major. Now only my job makes me feel stagnant and lost.
[/quote]I'm gonna be an accounting major so stagnancy is my goal.

also I'm eating cereal and a peanut butter sandwich without milk. I refuse to call it a first world problem, this is terrible.
[/quote]I cried myself to sleep the night I had nothing to eat but Saltines and Tap Water. It was good times.

[Kirby]

[quote author=matter11 link=topic=3709.msg239959#msg239959 date=1330452245]
[quote author=Dtrain323i link=topic=3709.msg239953#msg239953 date=1330434892]
[quote author=Didzo link=topic=3709.msg239948#msg239948 date=1330423276]
It sometimes feel like time just passes and I feel stagnant, lost, and without drive. I don't know what to do or how to do it.

I know that feel bro.
I solved it by starting college from scratch by changing my major. Now only my job makes me feel stagnant and lost.
[/quote]I'm gonna be an accounting major so stagnancy is my goal.

also I'm eating cereal and a peanut butter sandwich without milk. I refuse to call it a first world problem, this is terrible.
[/quote]I cried myself to sleep the night I had nothing to eat but Saltines and Tap Water. It was good times.
[/quote]



wtf, why are you looking in my windows??

[Turtle]

lmao if i wanted people to feel bad for me brbu is the very last place i would go, i came here to vent and get it out, I don't need another lecture about my shitty grades, i get that enough, and I especially don't need it from a bunch of shitheads on the internet.

[Evil Cheese]

lmao if i wanted people to feel bad for me brbu is the very last place i would go, i came here to vent and get it out, I don't need another lecture about my shitty grades, i get that enough, and I especially don't need it from a bunch of shitheads on the internet.

If you want to vent without feedback get on Twitter or LiveJournal or whatever it is kids use these days. If you post a fuck up here, expect either constructive criticism or tough love responses. Why would you even post in a community forum if you didn't want anybody to respond?

[Kor]

also I'm eating cereal and a peanut butter sandwich without milk. I refuse to call it a first world problem, this is terrible.

Whoa, whoa. Have you even had a peanut butter and cornflakes sandwich? With Chocolate milk for breakfast?

AMAZING BRO, AMAZING.

[Wyrmidon]

I hate posting in this thread because my life is hardly terrible in the grand scheme of things, but I am pretty down lately. Two days after the new year, right before I came back up to college, I was told that a childhood (and family) friend who I haven't kept up with in the past few years had committed suicide. I haven't really talked to anyone about it because I'm very uncomfortable doing so, I accept that death is something that happens, and I try to stay even headed about things as to not get my younger siblings or my parents worried. Which brings me to the next thing, the anniversary of my grandfather's death, he was a Giants fan, died hours before they won the Superbowl a few years back, so when they won again this year I started thinking about that again and when my younger brother told me that I didn't care that he died because I hadn't openly grieved his death. I hadn't had time to really think about my friends death until I got pink eye a week ago and had to miss class for a few days. So I've been depressed lately, which brings me back to my friend's suicide. I've had suicidal thoughts before when i was in high school because of my parent's relationship, which they would always try to bring me and my siblings into, but I've always been able to deal with them because I made up my mind that it's a cowards way out, and running away from your problems, which is something I hate to do very much. However, with the death of my friend it's challenging that, because I don't want to see him as a coward, but I also don't want to shake my stance on it because it has helped me get through the past few years emotionally.

Not only that, but I have no motivation and my grades are slipping because I'm missing classes. I try to go, but I just can't get myself to go to them all. Which really sucks because I'm close to getting my scholarship revoked, and I don't want to disappoint my parents, which is just making me feel worse and stressed out. I've talked lightly to my teachers and I will likely fail a few. I will am going to drop them, but I don't think I'll be able to bring up my GPA enough to keep my scholarship without them. I probably have depression, but I always convince myself that I don't, which is probably because I'm being to prideful to admit I can't do everything myself. And even if I do, I don't like the idea of changing the way I think and feel I'd be lying to myself. I know there are a lot of people that have it worse than me and I try not to lose sight of that perspective, but I just needed to get my thoughts written down I think. It may not even help me, but airing my grievances is worth a shot, I suppose.

[KarthXLR]

I hate posting in this thread because my life is hardly terrible in the grand scheme of things, but I am pretty down lately. Two days after the new year, right before I came back up to college, I was told that a childhood (and family) friend who I haven't kept up with in the past few years had committed suicide. I haven't really talked to anyone about it because I'm very uncomfortable doing so, I accept that death is something that happens, and I try to stay even headed about things as to not get my younger siblings or my parents worried. Which brings me to the next thing, the anniversary of my grandfather's death, he was a Giants fan, died hours before they won the Superbowl a few years back, so when they won again this year I started thinking about that again and when my younger brother told me that I didn't care that he died because I hadn't openly grieved his death. I hadn't had time to really think about my friends death until I got pink eye a week ago and had to miss class for a few days. So I've been depressed lately, which brings me back to my friend's suicide. I've had suicidal thoughts before when i was in high school because of my parent's relationship, which they would always try to bring me and my siblings into, but I've always been able to deal with them because I made up my mind that it's a cowards way out, and running away from your problems, which is something I hate to do very much. However, with the death of my friend it's challenging that, because I don't want to see him as a coward, but I also don't want to shake my stance on it because it has helped me get through the past few years emotionally.

Not only that, but I have no motivation and my grades are slipping because I'm missing classes. I try to go, but I just can't get myself to go to them all. Which really sucks because I'm close to getting my scholarship revoked, and I don't want to disappoint my parents, which is just making me feel worse and stressed out. I've talked lightly to my teachers and I will likely fail a few. I will am going to drop them, but I don't think I'll be able to bring up my GPA enough to keep my scholarship without them. I probably have depression, but I always convince myself that I don't, which is probably because I'm being to prideful to admit I can't do everything myself. And even if I do, I don't like the idea of changing the way I think and feel I'd be lying to myself. I know there are a lot of people that have it worse than me and I try not to lose sight of that perspective, but I just needed to get my thoughts written down I think. It may not even help me, but airing my grievances is worth a shot, I suppose.

My advice would be to find a hobby of some sort. Whether it's joining a video game club or participating in a tournament or acting in a play, it gives you something to do which in turn gives you some motivation. Just remember that suicide doesn't solve anything.

[Wyrmidon]

[quote author=Wyrmidon link=topic=3709.msg240005#msg240005 date=1330494417]
stuff

My advice would be to find a hobby of some sort. Whether it's joining a video game club or participating in a tournament or acting in a play, it gives you something to do which in turn gives you some motivation. Just remember that suicide doesn't solve anything.
[/quote]

yeah, I'm already part of a club, I think the motivation thing is just because I don't really have any responsibility to take care of others up here, and I don't have some kind of sport to keep me occupied every day like before.

And I know suicide doesn't solve anything, I'm adamantly against it and I couldn't bring myself to cause my family and friends any problems, which is part of the reason my friend's is bothering me so much. I am unwilling to weaken my thoughts on it, but I really would not like to think of him as someone who was just trying to run away from his problems.

[[SiN] Merc]

[quote author=Karth link=topic=3709.msg240006#msg240006 date=1330495069]
[quote author=Wyrmidon link=topic=3709.msg240005#msg240005 date=1330494417]
stuff

My advice would be to find a hobby of some sort. Whether it's joining a video game club or participating in a tournament or acting in a play, it gives you something to do which in turn gives you some motivation. Just remember that suicide doesn't solve anything.
[/quote]

yeah, I'm already part of a club, I think the motivation thing is just because I don't really have any responsibility to take care of others up here, and I don't have some kind of sport to keep me occupied every day like before.

And I know suicide doesn't solve anything, I'm adamantly against it and I couldn't bring myself to cause my family and friends any problems, which is part of the reason my friend's is bothering me so much. I am unwilling to weaken my thoughts on it, but I really would not like to think of him as someone who was just trying to run away from his problems.
[/quote]

A part of a man doesn't always reflect his whole. Maybe he did run away, in my personal opinion I agree, but that doesn't change what he was before, or what he is now, believe someone who's been through that song and dance.
You can't just focus on the bad in a person's soul, otherwise, everyone would look like jerks or cowards. Try to remember the good times, what he liked to do, what he tried to stand for, and live knowing that he wouldn't want you to suffer or feel down about it.

This message has been brought to you by the Merc sometimes isn't an asshat committee.

[matter11]

Merc link=topic=3709.msg240008#msg240008 date=1330505212]
[quote author=Wyrmidon link=topic=3709.msg240007#msg240007 date=1330495856]
[quote author=Karth link=topic=3709.msg240006#msg240006 date=1330495069]
[quote author=Wyrmidon link=topic=3709.msg240005#msg240005 date=1330494417]
stuff

My advice would be to find a hobby of some sort. Whether it's joining a video game club or participating in a tournament or acting in a play, it gives you something to do which in turn gives you some motivation. Just remember that suicide doesn't solve anything.
[/quote]

yeah, I'm already part of a club, I think the motivation thing is just because I don't really have any responsibility to take care of others up here, and I don't have some kind of sport to keep me occupied every day like before.

And I know suicide doesn't solve anything, I'm adamantly against it and I couldn't bring myself to cause my family and friends any problems, which is part of the reason my friend's is bothering me so much. I am unwilling to weaken my thoughts on it, but I really would not like to think of him as someone who was just trying to run away from his problems.
[/quote]
live knowing that he wouldn't want you to suffer or feel down about it
This message has been brought to you by the Merc sometimes isn't an asshat committee.
[/quote]

[Didzo]

I hate posting in this thread because my life is hardly terrible in the grand scheme of things, but I am pretty down lately. Two days after the new year, right before I came back up to college, I was told that a childhood (and family) friend who I haven't kept up with in the past few years had committed suicide. I haven't really talked to anyone about it because I'm very uncomfortable doing so, I accept that death is something that happens, and I try to stay even headed about things as to not get my younger siblings or my parents worried. Which brings me to the next thing, the anniversary of my grandfather's death, he was a Giants fan, died hours before they won the Superbowl a few years back, so when they won again this year I started thinking about that again and when my younger brother told me that I didn't care that he died because I hadn't openly grieved his death. I hadn't had time to really think about my friends death until I got pink eye a week ago and had to miss class for a few days. So I've been depressed lately, which brings me back to my friend's suicide. I've had suicidal thoughts before when i was in high school because of my parent's relationship, which they would always try to bring me and my siblings into, but I've always been able to deal with them because I made up my mind that it's a cowards way out, and running away from your problems, which is something I hate to do very much. However, with the death of my friend it's challenging that, because I don't want to see him as a coward, but I also don't want to shake my stance on it because it has helped me get through the past few years emotionally.

Not only that, but I have no motivation and my grades are slipping because I'm missing classes. I try to go, but I just can't get myself to go to them all. Which really sucks because I'm close to getting my scholarship revoked, and I don't want to disappoint my parents, which is just making me feel worse and stressed out. I've talked lightly to my teachers and I will likely fail a few. I will am going to drop them, but I don't think I'll be able to bring up my GPA enough to keep my scholarship without them. I probably have depression, but I always convince myself that I don't, which is probably because I'm being to prideful to admit I can't do everything myself. And even if I do, I don't like the idea of changing the way I think and feel I'd be lying to myself. I know there are a lot of people that have it worse than me and I try not to lose sight of that perspective, but I just needed to get my thoughts written down I think. It may not even help me, but airing my grievances is worth a shot, I suppose.

In addition to the suggestions mentioned above (clubs, activities, purpose, responsibility, etc.), consider this: If your depression and motivation issues are threatening your scholarship and class performance to the point where you might fail classes, I would schedule an appointment with the school psychological services. In addition to helping you deal with your problem, they might be able to prevent you from losing your scholarship by giving some sort of documentation of the reason behind your falling GPA and whatnot and point you to further resources. It's free, confidential, and only takes a bit of time and initiative.

As far as thoughts on suicide and mortality go, they can be hard to wrangle with. Bear with me, as I am tired, have had a splitting headache for a few hours, and have a somewhat complex stance on this subject matter, so what I'm saying might not make perfect sense. Here's a slice of it. I can clarify later if need be. I don't necessarily view suicide as strictly cowardice. Sure, that could be a factor, but you don't really know the intensity, pressure, or source of the distress that can lead a person to take their own life and their motives and reasoning behind doing so. You don't know what state of mind he was in. I've known and talked to a few people that have struggled with suicidal thoughts (or even attempted suicide), and the way people can get to that point can vary immensely. Sometimes it is rooted in cowardice or selfish escape, but other times the source of the urge is rooted in a deeper and less conscious location. But more often than not, you do not intimately know that aspect of a person, so you can't pass judgement or apply a label on them. All you have to go off of are the parts of them you saw and knew. Reality and truth are all relative, so the world you see and live in might be very different from that of someone else. While you must function within the reality you believe in (or otherwise risk falling apart), do not attempt to press everyone around you into that mold. You don't need to change your views regarding suicide for yourself, but you don't have to necessarily place your friend into them. If you've concluded that it is a cowardly act, then, chances are, it would be cowardly for you and you would be a coward for killing yourself. I'm also going to echo some of what Merc said. All you have to go off of are the parts you did see and the tragic end result. Remember the part of him you knew and were familiar with in life and let that image live in you.

Someone I knew since elementary school killed themselves a few months back. I didn't know him all that well, but I somehow wasn't the least bit surprised to hear the news, which I found unsettling. In addition, I remember certain (coincidental) occurrances on the day I heard about his death that hit me hard and literally forced me to stop in my tracks. The sort of shit where you don't know whether you should laugh or cry. I don't think I did either that day.

Anyway... do what you need to to sort this out in your head, but do not dwell on it for too long. Stick with what you already know.

[Bonesinger]

Bad post inc.

Motherfuckin' Words n' Shit

Hi, I'd like to start out with you don't want to die—you just want to stop hurting. Please go see a therapist/school psychologist about your depression and suicidal thoughts. It seems as though most of the depression stems from past traumatic events (Parental Relationships/Death) that "hobbies" or bottling up will not fix. Remember, the sooner you get help the sooner you'll be able to identify and prevent what triggers your depression and suicidal thoughts and hopefully boost school performance back up. Depression is a humanistic trait. There's no shame with being depressed or seeing a therapist as it's something that unfortunately all 6.8+ billion people on this chunk of floating rock in space have to deal with in our lives.

...While you guys aren't exactly going about it nicely Karth's got a point... On a side note can anyone drive me to the plasma center... McDonnald's won't hire my stellar 1.0 GPA, no collage, pile of fail ass on my word alone and I need food money...

No wonder they didn't hire you. No one's gonna hire you if that's how you view yourself. But guess what!!!!!!!!! You're not a pile of fail ass, you are good enough for McDonald's and in fact, you're good enough for positions better than McDonald's. You just haven't put yourself in the right environment/mentality to prove so. First off do what caff said, post your resume here. As for actually looking for a job start going on daily walks/runs if you're not already fit, get a nice clean haircut, get some nice clothes (even if it's for mcdonald's), Be sure to request for the manager when handing in the resume, use direct eye contact and insist on a handhake (keep that shit firm), as caff said smile and be kind/polite/enthusiastic, check up once a week in person. If you can't get a ride bike there, if you don't have a bike walk there, if you've got to walk 10 miles through ice and snow you fucking do it anyway because you've got to show how bad you want that job.

If you end up with an offer for picking out dead mice from food in a canary, take it. Show up every day and work diligently until you're ready to move onto something better. If you did a good job your boss will be more than happy to put in a good word or two about you which will go a long way. I'll leave this here, it's up to you to decide what success means to you.

How Bad Do You Want It? (Success) (Giavanni Ruffin and Eric Thomas)

[at0m]

@Wyrmidon: Seek psychological counseling. Most universities offer it for free, and it's not uncommon to need it even when everything is going according to plan. Sounds like you've got some stuff you need help unloading, so please go talk to someone about it. I did (when I was having similar problems while in college), and it changed my life.

FML: I've been sick for four days. My fever broke, but I can't stop coughing, and I'm not even coughing anything up, mostly. When I do, it's usually clear but occasionally bright green. I can't find my neti pot to try to clean my sinuses out, I think that's what the problem is. It hurts to breathe and talk. I have to go to work today for a meeting, but I'm going to go to an urgent care center first because I need to get this shit handled before I travel for work this weekend, and I want to make sure I don't have some sort of horrible disease that I should've sought treatment for when my symptoms started.

[at0m]

Well I thought my fever broke. Broke down and went to the doctor this morning. I'm still rocking a fever of 101, and this is what, the fifth day? Long story short, $133.85 later, I have Bronchitis, antibiotics, cough medicine with codeine, a note saying I really still should stay out of work for at least another 24 hours, and an admonishment from the doctor for not going in earlier.

My supervisor said I sound like shit when I called in for a tcon today. He also warned me that two of the parents from his local swim team had bronchitis recently, completely knocked them out for something like 2 weeks, despite meds. Lovely. He sympathized with my plan to stay home from work this week to try to get back to 100% for my business trip, since I have no safety net (the other engineer is in transit from Australia today, and will probably be out for the next week recovering). I thought I felt better this morning, but after I got back from the doctor, my condition started deteriorating pretty rapidly. Maybe it's the cough syrup making me tired but I got randomly wiped out a few hours ago, and just woke up again.

Upside: On Monday, Sick Me wanted some Blue Mountain Blast Powerade to rehydrate since I hadn't really been eating anything for several days and was probably fucking up my electrolyte balance with all the water I was drinking. Sick Me didn't want to go to the grocery store. Sick Me was reminded of the fact that they make a powder, but only for Red Powerade, which is a flavor neither Sick Me nor I enjoy. Sick Me looked online. Cheapest place to get it was something like $35 for 3x 1lb tubs, free 2-day shipping via Amazon Prime. Fast forward to today. I woke up from my nap just now to my phone buzzing from an alert. It was UPS, emailing to tell me there was a package sitting outside my door. I'm now drinking my first homemade bottle of blue goodness right now, and it tastes like victory.

[KarthXLR]

I've got an 8 page essay assigned.

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[If-I-Die-Its-Lag]

I've got an 8 page essay assigned.

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Uh.

12 point Arial font, solves some things.