The Drunk Thread

[CaffeinePowered]

Somebody needs to take my internet access away when I get like this..

Come to ACEN

[Totla]

Was at my friends condo for spring break. I wandered on the beach going right from the condo. I woke up to some guy asking me if i was okay. We walked in the direction I thought the condo was but apparently I was a mile down the beach to the left of it. After some normal talk he asks me if I suck dick and I'm like "nah sorry dude" and he was like "fuck I'm trying to get a blowjob tonight. alright see you later."  I wandered onto the road and ran into two other guys and thankfully one of them was sober. I Asked him what time it was and he said it was 1:30, which was weird because i had originally gone on the beach at 10:30. Eventually I made it back to the condo but everyone was asleep, which was really lame.
I still want to know what happened in that three hour period and how I moved a mile down the beach.

[VeraLapsa]

Was at my friends condo for spring break. I wandered on the beach going right from the condo. I woke up to some guy asking me if i was okay. We walked in the direction I thought the condo was but apparently I was a mile down the beach to the left of it. After some normal talk he asks me if I suck dick and I'm like "nah sorry dude" and he was like "fuck I'm trying to get a blowjob tonight. alright see you later."  I wandered onto the road and ran into two other guys and thankfully one of them was sober. I Asked him what time it was and he said it was 1:30, which was weird because i had originally gone on the beach at 10:30. Eventually I made it back to the condo but everyone was asleep, which was really lame.
I still want to know what happened in that three hour period and how I moved a mile down the beach.

Other then the BJ part that's really messed up man.

[A. Crow]

I started the night in the wrong order. 

Next time I'll put the swill first.  Really, following that shit made good Willett Rye taste like paint thinner and Basil Hayden's taste like water. 

[DragonEkarus]

There a time restriction on posting drunk stories? Or an exception for 'first time' drunk stories?

[A. Crow]

meh, I'll allow it. 

[DragonEkarus]

It was the night before Christmas and mom had decided I wasn't gonna be allowed to stay home alone for Christmas. So, I was brought to her boyfriend's house where we then went to a Christmas party down the street. Last year they tried to get me drink and failed after I decided it was too bitter. I walked in the door and was given some kind of mixed drink in a red plastic cup and told "This one ain't so bitter yah pussy."

To get them to leave me alone I drank the whole damn thing in front of them. Excluding water I drank earlier, this was the first thing I'd had all day. But I decided I liked it and got a refill and began wandering around a party with people I didn't know and eventually found my way into the basement where some kid too young to be playing it was playing Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 online and shouting obscenities that'd do some of us around here proud. I decided for whatever reason I'd tell him what he was doing wrong and brag about my own exploits in proper ass-hat style. About ten minutes later drink two came along as well as some "young adult" with a kid, all of us the child included began discussing Call of Duty and we got onto the subject of Zombies.

They grabbed the PS3 and Call of Duty Black Ops 2 and I grabbed another drink and we all went upstairs to play some zombies.

It starts getting foggy about this time, I remember watching two of them play online for a bit then insisted I had to show them how to play this game. And while on another drink (Because one of the adults sent me to get them one I decided I needed a refill as well!) we gained two more players a five year old and I think a six year old, their "parents" watching and cheering/laughing at us (...or me?) all the while. As we got our asses handed to us I thought I'd tell them how they should be playing and the five year old tells me "You've got the least kills dude." and we all laughed. And when I went to get another drink my mom and her boyfriend both decided it was time to leave.

The rest was told to me the next morning by my mother, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's brother, and several of the people I contacted.

I apparently made it home in one piece, fell onto the couch and fired up my laptop to complain to people, at some point I decided I needed to change and use the bathroom, so I set my laptop on the couch/dog and wandered to the bathroom. When I returned I apparently slipped on my feet, and fell face-first into the couch which I can safely tell you smells strongly of wet dog and laughed for "awhile."

The next morning I woke up confused with a wonderful headache and my laptop on my face, eight or nine chat windows open with illegible messages on them. I was also informed I drank 'a few' of something called "Suicide Punch" Which supposedly contains Vodka, rum... something that tasted like pineapple... and... I don't remember anymore stuff.

[Vlambo]

Irish christmas is on the horizon folks. Prepare thy livers.

[Gasman]

I actually have a confession to make.

My name is Gasman and I am... not an alcoholic.

I didn't realize until recently what this thread is really about. I just assumed it was also about what fine adult drink you were having at the moment. I've never been drunk a day in my life.  ;D

please be gentle I'm young and naive

[kaese]

I actually have a confession to make.

My name is Gasman and I am... not an alcoholic.

I didn't realize until recently what this thread is really about. I just assumed it was also about what fine adult drink you were having at the moment. I've never been drunk a day in my life.  ;D

please be gentle I'm young and naive

The Lion King 2 - Not One Of Us (English)

Burn the witch!

[CaffeinePowered]

I actually have a confession to make.

My name is Gasman and I am... not an alcoholic.

I didn't realize until recently what this thread is really about. I just assumed it was also about what fine adult drink you were having at the moment. I've never been drunk a day in my life.  ;D

please be gentle I'm young and naive

ACEN will come for you

[Gasman]

Burn the witch!

I'm not a witch! You put this nose and hat on me!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Burn the Witch!!!!!

[Chooly]

Stardate march 15, 2013
Pre st patties day
Blackbush.. A fine blended single malt. 5 star beverage.
Macallan.. A single malt. 4 stars. *better with ice
Lavulin: a very bold whiskey. Unless you're a hard core troll under a bridge, u may want a few cubes with this one!


That last one isnt spelt properly but it's like no whisky I've ever had before

Sent from sometime long ago, in a galaxy far, far away..

[A. Crow]

It'd 0945, I've slept like 3 hours, I'm almost sober, so it's time to start drinking again.

LAN PARTY; BETTER WITH ALCOHOL.

[MC Fartlett]

St patricks day celebration round 2 lets gooo

[Elder]

friday march 15 2013.

Started the night drinking shitty wine, then moved thankfully onto my uncommon stout(stout beer mixed with coffee) After that i had a few shots of whiskey, blackberry whiskey, and some oakhart which was actually pretty aweful for how drunk i was. Also there was some playing of cards against humanity in there as well as yelling at people who like to play league of legends. Then a friend i havent seen in years passed out on the couch and promptly woke up and puked on my feet. I then peeled my socks off and cleaned up a little and went to pass out in my other friend's bed. Drunk times were had; and they were good. Then i got puked on.

[Goffin]

martinis at mccormick's and schmidts for 3 hours. 


Walking out with a wedge of sourdough bread I took from the waitress was the priceless moment for me.    That shit came in handy too. 

[Eightball]

shots shot shots shot shots shot shots shot shots shot shots shot shots shot shots shot shots shot shots shot

[A. Crow]

what is this doing off the front page?

[A. Crow]

This stuff is pretty damn good.