The "Fuck my life" thread

[zaneyard]

gf was diagnosed bipolar
older bro is going off on-trac for his bipolar

we started setting up for a 5 day shoot for a short film today and right when we had lights + camera + set dec all finalized, the building manager comes by and says the tenant never warned him we would be here shooting. Thankfully they tried to accomodate us and find us another suite to use, but it just wasn't the same set up as the original apartment, so we had to move an entire truck worth of film gear including stands, cards, dollies, 650kw - 2kw lights, etc across the city to my place where it's basically midnight and we're just about to start setting up again.

its gonna be a long week, folks.

I'LL DRINK A BIG BOTTLE OF BACARDI FOR YOU BRO

[loldollas]

[quote author=Funbuck$ link=topic=3709.msg279403#msg279403 date=1403590942]
gf was diagnosed bipolar
older bro is going off on-trac for his bipolar

we started setting up for a 5 day shoot for a short film today and right when we had lights + camera + set dec all finalized, the building manager comes by and says the tenant never warned him we would be here shooting. Thankfully they tried to accomodate us and find us another suite to use, but it just wasn't the same set up as the original apartment, so we had to move an entire truck worth of film gear including stands, cards, dollies, 650kw - 2kw lights, etc across the city to my place where it's basically midnight and we're just about to start setting up again.

its gonna be a long week, folks.

I'LL DRINK A BIG BOTTLE OF BACARDI FOR YOU BRO
[/quote]

thanks zane

and yeah karth the director/pm/dop dudes are a bit younger than me (so they werent thinking about that) and the tenant told us initially that he had told his strata so it was more in the tenant's fault, like we're entirely insured and have the correct union standards so we could bring in stunt coordinators.  They are pretty meticulous fellas though, so we're actually ahead of schedule now. roomcollective.com to peep some other work by them

[Duck, Duck, Goose]

No internet at my new place until Wednesday... tethering through my phone but I only have less than 500 MB left.

[FlyingMongoose]

No internet at my new place until Wednesday... tethering through my phone but I only have less than 500 MB left.

Search for someone with no password on their wifi.

[zaneyard]

[quote author=Nitrous Oxide link=topic=3709.msg279564#msg279564 date=1404156637]
No internet at my new place until Wednesday... tethering through my phone but I only have less than 500 MB left.

Search for someone with no password on their wifi.
[/quote]
or crack WEP key

[copulatingduck]

So, I suppose there's enough interest that I thought I'd post some sort of update on what I've been up to the last few years.

I more or less disappeared from the forums around summer of 2012. I tried to pop in every once in a while, but posts and activity was probably more cryptic than anything. Post-history confirms significant drop in activity around July 2012 to any of you bored folks with stalking tendencies. So, what happened? Well, not an awful lot.

Fall 2011, I had finally gotten in contact with someone from school-who-will-not-be-named at SSS. In retrospect, it was a rather unorthodox call (he called me between the hours of 7-10pm as best I can recall), but he let me know that he thought it would be in my best interest if I finished my BS somewhere else. That was a tough call to take, but I thanked him for being the first person to speak with me candidly throughout the whole withdrawal/readmission process. It sucked a lot, considering I only had a senior thesis to complete, but c'est la vie, right? I'm still a teensy bit bitter that I was misled on the whole process, but it's in the past, and wouldn't have been an issue if I had been ready to grow up when I first started college.

Anyways, spring of 2012 I decided to just complete my degree locally. I didn't really have the means to do much else (afaik, not much in the way of scholarship for a senior transfer, so finishing at other major institutions seemed out of the question). I met with the dean of the school of engineering, and he suggested some courses to take over the summer (2012). LOTS of my credits simply had no equivalent here in Texas, and there were so many basics in Texas that I had not fulfilled, so I had my work cut out for me.

I did 3 overloaded semesters plus a smattering of summer courses. While much of the material was review, it was reviewing material that I hadn't utilized in 3-4 years. Compounded with the fact that 2 semesters saw me taking 6 engineering courses, plus some random humanities, and well... I was busy. Very busy. Also stressed. Very very stressed. There were a lot of times I really didn't want to keep going, or where I wanted to slow down and take it easier. But honestly, I hadn't done almost an entire degree program in Boston, to turn around and be told I'd have to spend 2-3 more years earning the degree I felt like I had already earned.

Eventually the dean retired and moved back to China. In my final semester, I was finally assigned an academic advisor. He was a shitlord of the highest degree. I could go on about him, but it's not particularly relevant to where I am right now, so it is what it is. I had to go over his head and lean on the new dean to determine what was left for me to fulfill my degree requirements. It ended up being 21 hours, mostly engineering courses, with a couple humanities sprinkled here and there. He told me he did not believe I could do it, but was willing to sign-off on it if I wished. That would be last fall. I walked across the stage in December. However, the caveat being that the school does not publish grades before you walk, so if you're worried about any of your grades (I was), you have no way of knowing whether you've legitimately graduated or not.

It took until February (massive failure on school's part) for me to find out I had graduated. I've since been looking for work. I didn't realize that the gap in education, along with a gap in any meaningful employment (I worked odd jobs, but nothing related to engineering) would hamper my job search so much. I've spoken with countless recruiters (most are worthless as far as I can tell), cleaned up my resume. I've been told cover letters look good, everything seems fine. But until this past week, I've only had a single interview to show for all the applications I've sent out. Ironically, not even for an engineering position (with pay to match), and to rub salt in, an offer was not even extended. I wish I knew what else to do.

I recently had someone (from a company I applied to) reach out to me. His impression: credentials and resume look impressive, he enjoyed talking with me and hearing my story. But I need to work on my networking. So at the moment, I'm timidly trying to finagle my way in front of any hiring authority that will listen. I had another interview over the phone last week. I'm well aware of my shortcomings with respect to interviewing: I'm very honest (several have said too honest and willing to disclose weaknesses) and hypercritical of myself. I'm not very experienced in expressing mechanical design concepts. Other aspects of engineering I'm comfortable discussing and do fine, however since my primary interests and background are in mechanical design... Well it's a bit of a pickle.

In other news, I've more or less stopped playing most games. I tried to keep it going for a while (I'm sure James and Ian probably shook their heads in disdain), but right now things are down to the wire so to speak, and I just don't have the time to spend with them like I used to. Furthermore, I do have other interests I'd like to pursue at some point, when gainful employment is had.

I've also done a terrible job of managing romantic interests. But then again, who doesn't have those sorts of problems, eh[sup][1][/sup]? For the time being, I'm trying to avoid anything of the sort until I can nail down a job and work on myself for a while. I will say that there was one extended long-distance interest (somehow every long-term relationship I've been in ends up being and LDR, you'd think I'd start to notice a pattern). I believe I spoke about her here before, and subsequently deleted the post. In either event, things were going great. Then I got freaked getting attached so quickly, had a family member very close pass, and took a month break. By the time I tried to resume contact, she was with someone else. There was lots more to it, but in a nutshell, I cut contact. A year later she contacted me again, and I let myself get sucked in again. I had been working to extricate myself from that situation for the better part of a year up until recently. I finally got out when I was approached by someone utterly fascinating, and local to boot. Just when I thought that was going somewhere, she pulled the fade. I should probably be more upset about it, but I'm thankful that she was able to bring me the perspective I needed to get over an old flame. I don't begrudge her, whatever her motives were, because at least I was able to learn some things about myself.

Other than that, I'm not really sure what's in store for me. As I said, a gentlemen reached out with some good feedback, and hopefully some solid advice for the job hunt. Unfortunately, his particular networking opportunities with 2 specific companies did not pan out, but I appreciate his effort all the same. I'm not an extrovert by nature, so some of his suggestions are definitely being heeded with apprehension. I've considered the military (well, I guess I still am), however from everyone I've spoken with, it would not be a good idea, considering I'm mechanical and already degreed. I'm beyond the age for several orgs as it is, the army is more civ-e than mech-e, and the only jobs that truly require a decent engineer (I'm told) involve 6yr minimum contracts serving on battleships or subs. I'm not sure I'm ready to bite that bullet just yet. If anyone has perspective to add, it is always appreciated.

Anyways, sorry I haven't been around more or kept in touch. To be blunt, it's a bit embarrassing to be this old and have so little to show for it, so I've been focusing on that for the last 6 months (well really last 2 years if you count school). The irony being, I still have nothing to show for all that effort, and various support units are beginning to sincerely doubt my dedication to the cause.

I'll probably delete this post at some point. I've met a few people who are extremely paranoid about leaving identifying information on the internet, and it's had at least the modicum of an effect on me. I hope I have assuaged the borg's community's bloodthirst for a sacrifice update.

[1] I've spent a lot of time around Canadians recently. Parts have... rubbed off, though thankfully nothing sticky, I hate sweets

Also, fwiw I'm generally in good spirits, despite this being a disappointing update posted to the FML thread. I just didn't want to start my own thread, or junk up any of the other threads around here.

[CaffeinePowered]

Duck if I had the energy to type out well though out reply right now I would ( I promise to later )...except I just spent the last three and a half hours frantically bailing my apartment out.

Got up to ~0.25" at its deepest across everything except my bedroom. Managed to move everything, and I'm sore as fuck from wringing out towel after towel after towel. This time the water literally seeped in through the foundation

[KarthXLR]

Well despite your misfortunes, it's really great to hear from you Duck. Everyone gets worried when one of our original members goes missing. I hope that job offer works out for you!

[Chief]

Well despite your misfortunes, it's really great to hear from you Duck. Everyone gets worried when one of our original members goes missing. I hope that job offer works out for you!

pretty much this

[1] I've spent a lot of time around Canadians recently. Parts have... rubbed off, though thankfully nothing sticky, I hate sweets

maple syrup is a terrible lube

[FlyingMongoose]

[quote author=Duck link=topic=3709.msg279582#msg279582 date=1404185322]
[1] I've spent a lot of time around Canadians recently. Parts have... rubbed off, though thankfully nothing sticky, I hate sweets

maple syrup is a terrible lube
[/quote]

He speaks from experience.

[Luinbariel]

I love you, Duck! You needed that time for you,  and it was hard. If we can help in some way let us know, we will be here

[zaneyard]

It's good to hear from you man. If you ever pop on Facebook and see me online chat me up.

[Dtrain323i]

"You were the perfect candidate for this position you interviewed for but outside factors dictate that we are hiring someone else"


Translation: You were more qualified but were hiring the guy that's friends with the boss instead.

[at0m]

That sucks, and I can sympathize with a lot of those feels. I went through a similar struggle through 2005-2008 trying to get my degree from Purdue (short version: was kicked out once, took a semester off, went back, utilized a loophole to avoid getting kicked out a second time, took another semester off, then got my act in gear and finished up), although I won't pretend to claim that it was as rough as what you went through.

Drop me an email with your resume and we can discuss networking / life off the forums. Email is evan@at0m.org

[Surf314]

Good luck duck

[Eschatos]

Saw my grandmother for the first time in a few years. She's pretty much completely senile now. She didn't remember who I or any of my siblings were and spent the whole visit repeating the same comments/jokes. Shit sucks.

[Kor]

FuckDuck, I've missed you. Looks like you've built some character since we've last seen you; which in my opinion shits all over this:

To be blunt, it's a bit embarrassing to be this old and have so little to show for it,

I wouldn't question the circumstances if the result is wisdom and self-knowledge. I can believe in a person that has suffered and understands why.

I think you're doing just fine. The journey is yours to make, worrying about the milestones others have laid down is a surefire way to get lost.

<3 <3

[rumbot]

Thanks for sharing, CopulatingDuck.

I concur with Kor, you sound like a person reflecting on all that you've recently learned educationally, emotionally, personally, politically, and romantically. Those learnings aren't yet translating into the outcomes you want, but they will. Ira Glass' monologue on The Gap applies here.

(stupid vimeo embed not working)

Code:

http://vimeo.com/85040589]

Remember, not all great idea are hatched before 30.

Also, not all networking should be job focused. Find things that are fun and interesting related to your passions, and meet people there. Not sure if you are closer to Houston or Dallas, but there's a Nerd Night in each. Nourish your soul and enrich your friendships with such activities, and meaningful work will follow.

Let me know if you ever want to chat.

[rumbot]

I'm sore as fuck from wringing out towel after towel after towel.

Dude, does your Gay Swimming cosplay even swim?

[copulatingduck]

Kor: Thanks for the kind words. You've always had a knack for seeing the bigger picture, and distilling an issue down to its most salient points. I'll admit misting up a bit after reading your reply; it's good sometimes to hear someone else put things into perspective when I can't always be completely objective.

Rummy: If you were a chick dropping the Ira Glass reference, you'd totally have charmed your way into my pants by now (that's how local girl did it, now the secret's out). I appreciate that I've grown-up enough for people to notice, and a little acknowledgement every once in a while is the bee's knees, so thanks for noticing. As for networking beyond career opportunities, I'm trying to look into something else to do around here, because writing applications and cover letters til my eyes bleed is getting old. Unfortunately, Texas is a big fat state, and Dallas is a 2 hour drive in good traffic. The means just aren't there for getting out much at the moment. Currently trying to con a friend into doing habitat for humanity with me, as we're both poor lonely schmucks, and it'll be good times as long as nobody dies.

PS: Forgot it was called The Gap, but I've listened to that piece a few times, and it's definitely helped me keep my heading. Always a good one to give a listen. Also, thanks for being the one who conned me into making a comeback update.

Zane: I'll try to keep that in mind, but I try to limit fb time to minutes I can count off on one hand. Still not a fan of it, but vaguely forced into adoption of it if I want to keep in touch with some family. Also, screwed up my back doing power cleans last September (no insurance QQ), so I can't talk much meathead broscience with you. I still can't squat anymore than I can bench since the incident, and I can't bench shit. It's been pretty disappointing, but I'm doing the best I can to get back into it without re-injuring myself.

Atom: I'll try to hit you up sometime today or tomorrow, and I'll try to not make you regret that offer. :p But in all seriousness, thanks for sharing. I didn't realize anybody else here had a hard time with undergrad, and given my own perceptions about your successful career (my perception), it's good to know I still have plenty of time to makeup for jerking off through most of my 20's.

Karth, Chief, Luin, Surf, et al: Thanks for the well wishes. It's good to hear back from old friends, and know I haven't accidentally burned any bridges. I hope things have been treating you guys well enough, and I genuinely hope you're getting everything you want out of life. You're all a great bunch and were my support group through a shitty time, and you deserve to taste the forbidden nectar or have whatever it is you're looking for out of life.

I'm done mucking up the thread for now. I'll try to keep anything else to PM's or other forum threads.